Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

First hour-(Homeroom)
I looked at the year book. I'm still waiting for mine. I look at it, the pictures are so far away. I still feel my life is cut in half. The way I was last year and when I met Robers (The person that changed me faster then any other). January is the cut, another world in its self. It felt good though. I couldn't make out if I was pissed or if I should laugh. There was so much in the year book about things that are not allowed at are school. Its fun to see though.

Second hour- oh joy to Greece.

Third hour-I finished looking at the year book. I was left with a tweng of pain from my still healing heart. I had skipped over Roberts memorial page, more like one third. I knew I couldn't take it. The time will come when I will read it. I felt hate fill me. Half a page in the index, was that all he was worth? Few people could ever be such a joy. He was to good for us. With what he lived through....Why should that girl, the one no one had a good thing to say about, get a full page because her parents payed the school off?

I don't know how I got away from that but I did. End of the year magic I guess.

Sessy came up, and if you ever read this, Sessy, I can't thank you enough for the happiness you gave me for being there that night. It was brought up about what it would feel like to have your neck pierced then sucked on and kissed. I'm so tempted by the thought. I can't get away from it. I got Lisa into the thought as well. We are going to ask Travis to do it. That will have to be good enough.

5th hour- I started writing and never stopped. 12:00

6th hour- I failed my test. Story of my life. I feel nothing. I must have really given up. What is the point? I still must try.

7th hour- The teacher told a student to go to another students class and dump his bag out. The class was locked though.

More reality hits. So many people I don't really see. Yet I love them. Without them I don't think my life would last long. If you make me happy you are my life and I want to give that back to you. No matter what it is there is a great value of it with me. I wish there was more chances, more time to get to know you. Forever will never be enough. The more I miss the more I feel I've lost it all. Simply meetings or not. There are those I have meet only by chance on line. Yet I think of them as family. Its devastating missing my loved ones I feel so close to. I will keep you with me even when you leave me. Even if you don't come back.


Dedicated to Pirate and so may others.