Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I'm really dreading marching season. I'm so scared that it will be exactly like last marching season. Dustin will be too busy all the time. He'll be forced onto lining crew (so I won't get to see him during practices), he'll be on loading crew (I won't get to walk into the stadiums with him before football games), and he'll get himself into a bunch of other stuff to do with the band that I don't want a part of so I won't see him a whole lot at all. I'll all the time be angry and not speaking to him so he'll just talk to everyone else and show off and I'll feel like the loneliest girl in the world. It's what I went through last year and I don't see how this year will be any different. My gut tells me that the same things will happen.

It's not that I mind him doing SOME things with the band. But it seems like he's entrusted with all these tasks and he gets invited places. I'm not patient enough to prepare an audition to get into places like that so I couldn't go no matter what. I just hate all this band stuff he does. I hate myself for not being able to keep up with him.

Dustin, please know I'm not mad at you for any of this. I've gotten over being mad at you about last year. I just have an extremely bad feeling about this upcoming marching season and I can't ignore it.