I have often wondered of the purpose of my existence, who reality that is my being. It is human nature to wonder these things, and I believe near everyone goes through this process multiple times within their lives. But while the answer to these questions of self purpose may forever elude us, their lies a second, and perhaps even more important idea. A more prominent question.
Do I exist? It is a simple, often sorrowful lament, not really even a proper question. But it is valid, and one can only be excused for entertaining such musings of this matters seriousness, if only because it is a commonly shared burden. However, these matters may be better left in the dark for some, as it does not take a great deal of difficulty to see how a man obsessed by the notion of his very being, might be driven quite mad. It is for this reason among other that I do not touch upon this subject as frequently as others, for I fear what any serious thought into the subject might bring.
But in light of current revelations, it would same my fear is groundless, for there is, hidden amid a growing pall of dimmed and beaten philosophy, a virtual treasure of confidence that we do in fact, exist.
“I think, therefore, I am.” Spoken by a man of great caliber, this quote has been beaten into a state of utter unimportance. As most all people I know have herd it, it is not seen as modern, or original enough to be profound. But why? Upon closer examination, the writings associated with the words reveal a great deal of vital information. I do not wish to spend much time at all merely coping or summarizing the works of another man’s thoughts, but to put it in layman terms, it is simply this; As the perceptions of ones senses can be so easily manipulated into feeling hearing or seeing what is not, it can be said that they are in no way clear evidence that we exist. In light of this, the one thing we cannot deny as false is the ability we posses to think. Therefore, since the acceptance of thought is given, it can be said that even if we do not physically exist in the world we perceive, we must in fact, exist in a mental state at the very least.
After a god deal of thought, it is not hard to see the truth that this assessment holds, and with it, it could be said that all maters concerning the truth of our existence can be laid to rest.
If only it were so.
For while the denial of our mental selves can not be denied. What of our physical beings? How can we say that this world we see through are so easily fooled eyes is the truth? Perhaps we cannot, and perhaps, we all know that deep within our hearts. And once again, perhaps that is why we live, maybe the only reason we have for walking this earth is solely that of finding validation in our existence. We, as a people, tend to wish for a life that is rich and full of excitement. I believe it is because we crave the sense of living hat comes from such experiences, for how can something hat makes you feel that alive truly be only a falsity of our senses? This sense of doubt that comes over all to many when thought is put into it, is what I believe to be the source of al major religion, but that is a topic for another day. Back to the point at hand, I have come to find that no matter how long we search for the answer to these questions, we will never truly find the answers, and again, I believe we know this to be self evident. Yet we go on living, always looking for that which we will never find.
But does it really matter? For in truth, the importance is in the effort that is put in to it. I believe that the only time one can ever be truly sure of how he views his life is in the few short moments before his death, when all is said and done, we must be able to look back in those final seconds, and smile, if only in our minds, for any other outcome is truly regrettable. We in may die in vain, or with things left undone, but for the large part, even if this is to happen, I believe that only a man who has given up on the search for his existence, one who no longer cares if he exists or not, can die painfully.
So for the first time in my life, I can look ahead, my chin tilted high and say with pride “I do not care.”
I will continue my quest for existence, whether or not there is any end, for that is my road, an one that I believe will lead me to happiness.
Perhaps I do not exist in this world, perhaps, like so many fanatic individuals believe, I am merely a brain trapped with a world controlled by some mystical force.
Let what is be as it is. I think, therefore, I am.
And that is more then enough.
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Confessions of a Crowned Clown
To be honest, I'm probably going to be using this as a place to vent out my thoughts when they get built up enough, and hopefully use it to help me sort through some things.
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everroyal
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