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It's been that long since I've written here! It's terrible.

I guess I'll start off by saying that "alot of things have been happening." You know how life sometimes just smacks you in the face? It hit me full on last year. Some know about it, some don't, but I lost my entire life last year when my apartment caught on fire. Excuse me, was SET on fire. At least that's what the fireman say. I wasn't even home at the time, I had popped out to Colorado to visit my family (I was planning on moving back home to Colorado Springs at the time so I was out there trying to find a job, a place, see my fam, etc) and while I was away someone entered my apartment and set it on fire. They said it was most definately arson because the forensic evidence they got back showed signs of an accelerant used, a chemical of some sort that was used to start the fire and make it spread quickly. I had only brought a week's worth of clothes, my purse, some bath stuffs, you know just bare necessitites. And when I came home I didn't have anywhere to stay. The apartment complex I lived in didn't even BOTHER to call me until Tuesday (the fire happened on Saturday night) to tell me about the fire. When it happened I was so out of sorts that I wasn't sure what to do. And since then the entire year has been a blur, a downward spiral of denial and depression. I had just started over-broken things off with my ex, taken my things, started a new life for me and my kids....and it was all taken away from me so quickly. I guess you really don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore. I've really hit rock bottom lately because of the choices I've made since then. Instead of doing something about it, I just simply rolled over and died. At least that's what I feel like I did. I thought I was over the whole getting walked on by people thing but apparently I'm not. Just another life lesson or lessons that I had to learn slowly and painfully. Why can't I just follow good advice when it's freely given?