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this halloween my grandfather died.... He died at 500am on halloween morning.. I have been searching for my grandfather for a year and right now i feel like crap... I had yelled at my father over and over and never gave him any room to talk.. i accused him of not looking for his own dad and accused him of not caring... but i found out yesterday morning he was looking for him and founfd him.... now i know that people are saying what a b***h and i agree with you... even though my father used me when i was little, played mind tricks with me, and didnt tell the family i was bore i still believe what i did was wrong and i hate myself for it... my grandpa wasnt the greatest person... but to me he was sweet.. he never drank in frount of me and the few times i saw him i was happy to see him and he was happy to see me.... about a year ago my grandpa was mugged and almost died.. i went to see him everyday he was in the hospital.. he got better and remembered me out of everyone and that made me cry... when he was close to being released he said he would take me dancing... it had been a couple of months after he was released that my father had decided he couldnt drink anymore... grandpa was pissed and told my father he wasnt his son any longer.. my grandfather left my dad... my grandpa has many illness's and so it didnt help him much.... my father found him a couple days ago... he was going to see him at the hospitel on halloween but instead he got a call at 500am that grandpa had gone...
i cant cry for my grandpa cause i know he wouldnt have wanted us to cry for him and he didnt think that there was a meaning to crying.. but wanna cry really bad because i feel cheated out of seeing my grand father and being able to dance with him
 Ishira Tsubasa · Tue Nov 02, 2004 @ 02:28pm · 3 Comments |
