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TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
> > LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:
> > An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
> > report that her car has been broken into. She is
> > hysterical as she explains her situation to the
> > dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering
> > wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!'
> > she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An
> > officer is on the way.'
> > A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
> > 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by
> > mistake.'
> >
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> >
> >
> >
> > FAMILY
> > Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
> > together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.
> > She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the
> > other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the
> > bath?'
> > The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
> > up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
> > 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'
> > The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table
> > having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her
> > head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that
> > forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll
> > come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's
> > at the door.'
> >
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> >
> > 'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
> > Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were
> > playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the
> > other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
> > 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'
> > And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a
> > beer.'
> >
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> >
> >
> > LITTLE LADY:
> > A little old lady was running up and down the halls
> > in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up
> > the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She
> > walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
> > Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'
> > He sat silently for a moment or two and finally
> > answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
> >
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> >
> >
> > OLD FRIENDS:
> >
> > Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!
> > Two elderly ladies had been friends for many
> > decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds
> > of activities and adventures. Lately, their
> > activities had been limited to meeting a few times a
> > week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards
> > when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't
> > get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a
> > long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've
> > thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please
> > tell me what your name is.'
> > Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes
> > she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,
> > 'How soon do you need to know?'
> >
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> >
> >
> > SENIOR DRIVING
> >
> > As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway,
> > his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's
> > voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on
> > the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
> > Interstate 77. Please be careful!'
> > 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's
> > hundreds of them!'
> >
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> >
> >
> > DRIVING
> >
> > Two elderly women were out driving in a large car -
> > both could barely see over the dashboard. As they
> > were cruising along, they came to an intersection.
> > The stoplight was red, but they just went on
> > through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to
> > herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we
> > just went through a red light.' After a few more
> > minutes, they came to another intersection and the
> > light was red again. Again, they went right through.
> > The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that
> > the light had been red but was really concerned that
> > she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the
> > next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
> > and they went on through. So, she turned to the
> > other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we
> > just ran through three red lights in a row? You
> > could have killed us both!'
> > Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I
> > driving ?'
> >
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> >
> > TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!