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when i'm around her i forget who i am, just for a second... i forget the past two years, and i go back to the carefree self i used to be... almost. there are still traces of the coldness, of the heartlessness, and i know that there are definatley traces of my cruelness, but they are vauge, and less noticable then normal... i am more of the real me around her, and i think it's because she's the only one left in my connections. i think she's ab;e to pull me out of the pit i've dug myself into, like a Jacob, for those of you who read twilight. she is my sun, only less so i suppose... and i guess that there may be a chance there are others like her, but i don't want to look...
another thing is my past. the past i've been trying to cope with.. i'm begining to think that maybe the other she is having a hard time coping as well. i'm not sure, but it seems like it, and if she is talking about me and she does read this journal, i want her to know i still love her, but she hurt me all the same. i'll be in touch. if she's not talking about me then she can ignore the above sentence, if she even reads my journals...
last of all is a third she. yes, i know, so many she's in my life, huh? well this third she is different from the other two. i'm able to be a little kid around her without fear of seeming like an idiot. she is truthfully my sister, yet closer. someone who i can feel i can tell anything, yet at the same time i don't know if she takes me seriously, but out of the three she's i think only the first one takes me seriously about anything. anyways, back to the third she. she is someone i can make stories with, joke around with, even though she is signifintly older than me, i feel like i can be around her without a fear of a maturity gap.
there are many other people in my life, but these three she's are the ones on my mind currently.... heh heh. for those of you who read, thank you for listening to my rambling, and for those of you who did't... well... you didn't read it... talk2hand heh heh heh. well, thank you for listening to my ramblings my readers, and there will be more later. whee stressed whee stressed