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I'm so stupid. I can't just choose. I won't let myself pick losing person 1, but I can't stand the thought of hurting person 2. I need both. I can't have both.

I'm too immature and selfish. I should just tell both to get away from me; at least then I couldn't hurt either of them.
Why is person person 1 so important? Everything was fine before. Person 2 was all I needed.

No. NO. If that's the only reason why person 1 is so attractive, I think I'll have to become a hermit. And never love again. Person 2 was perfect. I didn't know I could want more. Now I feel greedy.

But what if I'm meant for person 1?

BUT WHAT IF PERSON 1 WON'T TAKE ME?! Then where am I?

I don't think that's the only reason I want person 1 so much. Person 1 is more there for me in many respects, distance aside. Person 2 is wonderful, when person 2 is there, but that's not nearly as often as I like.

Person 1 is there every day. For prolonged periods of time.

But I think that person 2 is most likely more mature... They seem the same right now, but the age thing...

I think I just want to talk myself out of person 1, because the after effects would be easier. The actual getting over part would be easier with person 2, because I can think of more problems.

So far, I can't find much wrong with person 1. It sucks.

This would be so much easier if I had just kept to myself. Or if person 1 wasn't so there. Or if person 1 was a completely different person. But I don't think I'd ever wish for the last two things.

And person 1 thinks more like me.

I wish person 2 and I had just stayed friends... But then I've always kind of been attracted to person 2, since the first time person 2 talked to me.

I wish I could tell them both, without being afraid. Or at least find out if person 1 likes me.
I think, if person 1 asked me out, I'd tell person 2 that I wanted to just be friends. I'd be so relieved... But THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. QUIT TELLING YOURSELF FAIRYTALES. You're probably meant to suffer.

I like both. But I think I'd be able to get over person 2, if I could have person 1. I'm not sure I could get over person 1 as easily. But that's just dumb! I've not even known person 1 that long!

And I've known person 2 since... Well, it's been a long time. And I can't think about hurting person 2 for longer than a few seconds. It makes me feel awful.

I'm such a selfish little brat.