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well lets see not a whole lot has been going on, as usual. i havent slept in 2 nights cant sleep insomnia sucks xp and since my granma wont let me stay on the computer as late as she used to so ive entertained myself by playing starocean and watching fuse. and randomly coloring and writing. though niether of which were very good. umm tomorrow marching band practice starts up and i dont have a clue i probably wouldve been ok if i had started lessons at least at the beginning of the year but since i just started playing in..its either april or may cant remember which but i think it was may, im years behind everyone else including the new members so yea im worried im going to do horrible at that. then theres the whole *hopefully ill start my period tomorrow* thing i dont know why im worrying over it so much though. and right now i have a horrible headache scream and i miss cam a whole lot right now too. cry im calling him as soon as i get home my luck he wont be home yet and he wont get the message so ill call again at like 9 or somethin and find out hes been home the whole time. well on a happy note i baked some cookies yesterday but then again they werent all that good since we didnt have any brown sugar so they were just kind of *blah* so maybe thats not a happy note hmmmm....*trys to think of happy note* yaaay! i thought of something if my mom lets me im going to try to get cam and dustin to go and see charlie and the chocolate factory i want to see it soooo much! tim burton is soo cool! biggrin and then yesterday when we went to the store i got some new polmade and it smells like oranges and right now with how i have my hair done my bangs are close to my nose and they smell yummy! xd ummm.... i think thats all the happy notes if i think of any more ill put them in, so now back to everything else. mum and tony are talking about getting married by the end of the summer i mean yea i want my mum to be happy but i know she wont be happy if they get married i mean they cant live in the same house together for more than a week at a time except to spend the night and its not like theyre gonna get married and still stay living in seperate houses and i dont really want to move into his house because well i dont really like him or alc or mookie(though he wont really be there hell be in college most of the time) its just to much for all of us to live together none of us really get along that well except me and mookie thats just because we never really say anything to each other anyways. but i cant wait until i can either get my own place or leave for college i cant really stand to be around my family anymore its really kinda sad i mean we used to be so close but thats gone now and who knows where it went to. and lately ive been having dreams about the courts sending me back to my dads and at the end of each dream im comitting suicide or im killing my father and the b***h such wonderfull dreams. they really are, well the endings anyways. *grins while thinking bout their bodies laying in a puddle of blood or for that matter my own body* but yea im not really sure why im having these dreams and on top of my insomnia i havent eaten in a couple days either those to usually come together im not hungry and as much as i try i just cant sleep its prolly just pretty much everything ive mentioned thats causing it but oh well itll go away eventually. well im going to wrap this up. ill update next time im on a computer but i dont know when thatll be so yea *hugs* heart
 lost and dazed · Sun Jul 17, 2005 @ 01:37pm · 0 Comments |
