i dont know why i did this,
perhaps to run away.
i was conveinced,
my life would never change.
it seems as it has been 1000 years,
since i let a smile out,
when it was not meant for show.
i felt as though,
i would never be happy again.
i felt as though,
i would never be free from this love,
until my soul was released,
from this hideous material form.
i fell in love once,
he broke my heart.
i never saw it comming,
i thought he really did care.
i fell in love again.
she decided she loved another.
i tried to let her go,
it only made things worse.
i decided as long as i am here,
i would always love her.
"perhaps", i thought.
"perhaps if my soul is free, i will finally let go."
so i took the rope,
i tied it in a noose,
i attatched it to the ceiling and climbed up on the chair.
as i put the rope around me,
and kicked the chair away,
i began to think about whether anyone would care.
would they have a song on the intercom at school in my memory...
like they did for b.k.?
would they take all day off and cry?
would any one even find me today?
would anyone even remember who i am, two months later?
as i saw the chair flip across the room,
i began to feel hope.
i began to regret.
i began to feel scared, for the first time in my life.
was there really anything wrong in my life,
that would not change in a few years time?
as i began to feel my lungs run out of air,
i thought about my mother.
i thought about my love, my friend...
i thought about my sisters, and my brother.
i thought about the father whom i never forgave.
was i wrong to do this?
could i reach the chair?
i didnt really want this...
my life was not too much to bare.
i just needed healing.
many have gone through this before.
but it was too late.
i can never fix what i have done.
i never truely regreted anything until that day.
i was wrong to think i would get over her that day.
i still love her,
and now i have totally missed my chance.
Sakura_Healer in Training Community Member 
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