I could've gone to get coffee with Erin and her mom today, but my mom was "too busy" to come with. I don't want to go somewhere with just Erin and her mom. 'Specially not if I have to sit there and talk. Oh, and my mom didn't really do anything at all stare I need someone to distract Ms. Becky from talking to me, and that doesn't work out with just 3 people.
what am I going to do? It's getting so difficult to stay grounded and connected to the people around me. people are starting to ignore me again, and sometimes I don't even manage to finish a sentence before they turn back to their friends. I end up speaking to empty air most of the time. Even in a crowd of people, it's so very possible to be lonely.
Great, thank you Kelsey for not making my day. Love how my friends go to parades and don't even think that maybe I'd want to go. But they don't mind telling me all about it stare Oh well. I'd never know anything about anything if people didn't tell me all about it. Count my blessings, move on. At least I can actually go to the St. Patty's Day parade this year! TWO YEARS I've had to miss it for some stupid thing I didn't want to go to. I'm going even if I have to walk to it.
dammit. I'm probably going to have to wait 'til after I get back to talk to the ppl I need to talk to stare And I wouldn't have to wait on two of them if I wasn't a complete IDIOT. All I had to do was type 5 words or call one person and say one stupid little sentence, and that's that. but NO. I had to go and be ******** avoidant and clam up and refuse to call back. NO wonder i get ignored. I can't even act like a halfway normal human being.
I hope it rains tomorrow. I wish the sun would stop being all cheery and bright and let the sky cry with me. Sun, sun, go away, burn my eyes another day. I lost my sunglasses, so the sun hurts. It burns my skin, hurts my eyes, and makes it too hot. I wish it would just go away for a while.
