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Once upon a time there was an unhappy French man, so he decided to kill himself. He went atop a cliff and tied a noose around his neck, the other end tied around a large rock. He proceded to consume poison and set his clothes on fire. As he jumped from the cliff he was going to shoot himself in the head, but something went horribly wrong. The shot missed, severing the rope. He plunged into the cold water, the shock causing him to throw up the poison and the water dousing the flames. A local fisherman rescued him and took him to the local hospital.
He later died of hypothermia.
True story. The moral of this story? Don't be French.

~-~ If ignorance is bliss, school is a deliberate attempt on its part to deprive me of happiness, the pursuit of which is my unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. I therefore assert my patriotic perogative not to know the material at hand. ~-~

~-~ what do you call a lazy Bison? A buffa-loafer (taken from the ice pop I just ate XD)~-~

~-~ A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. ~-~

~-~ I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. ~-~

~-~ Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the etherbunny ~-~

~-~ If your parents never had children, chances are that you won't either ~-~

~-~ Join the army today! See the world, meet interesting people, and kill them. ~-~

~-~ Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup (also varies with 'taste good with mango juice') ~-~

~-~ I realized just how pathetic I was the other day.. I was walking around outside looking at all the signs and such.. and I thought to myself "Pssht.. D00m 3 has better lighting then this" Kee hee.. oh wells xP ~-~

~-~ Computer games don't affect kids. I mean, if Pac Man had affected me, I'd be running around in darkened rooms munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. ~-~

~-~ If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0 ~-~

Is your refridgerator running? Cuz I bet it runs like you... very homosexually

We're making alcohol, im the brewery.
I heard alcohol makes u stupid.
No, I'm ... doesn't

Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me!
So tie me up and throw me down and show how much you like me!