Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

The past few days have been pretty unexplainable, so I won't go into it.

Some things, I will mention, though.

I know a few things.
1: Chelsea likes Zak(only a little but, so she says).
2: Zak... doesn't know if he likes Chelsea... (sounds bizarre, but shall be explained.)

See, a day or two ago, Chelsea, Zak and I went to the pool together. I had finally gotten Chelsea to admit that she liked Zak, which was pretty obvious. After that, though, it was just really hard being able to stand around and watch as she tried to 'dunk him' or 'get a ride' in the water just so she could cling to him. Everyone knows who 'him' is, so I won't specify a name. Just because I don't feel like it and you know who it is. (Man, I feel miserable for some reason...)
Anyway, later one, things got a little deppressing. I was talking to Zak, and we got into the conversation of, 'Do you like Chelsea?'. He said he didn't know, 'cause a lot of s*** had been going on for the past week and beyond-- and that he had a lot on his mind. He said that his friends at school were starting not to be his friends. Which I could imagine to be hard. I haven't got many friends. I know the people who have a lot of friends care a whole lot about their friends, and they would be nothing without them. I could understand his situation only slight, but I could imagine what he could be going through. Before he told me, though, we had made a deal. When he said that he had a lot on his mind and that he was going through some bad things, I told he wasn't the only one. We made a deal that if he told me what was wrong with him, I would tell him what was wrong with me. I should have told him something more important. He had guessed that it was that I was jealous[of Chelsea], and I said no. But I said it had something to do with him and Chelsea.
What I said was...:
"Well... it just kinda hurts. I mean, being friends with Chelsea for three years, I've noticed that all the guys like her. Being friends with you for a year, I see that all the girls like you(Zak: *snicker* Yeah, right.). It just... it kinda hurts. We all consider eachother best friends. I can tell you both like eachother, yet... you both say you can talk to me about things, and neither ever talk to me about eachother. I just... it really hurts."
I forgot what he said about that... oh, wait... that was before we got it out of Chelsea, and before Zak said he didn't know if he liked her or not. After I said that, there was an unhealthy pause, then then he said, "Well, err... lemme go see if she likes me... so we can be sure..." And then he turned around and went to Chelsea.

One thing I found out, though... is that... Zan writes poetry. I dunno if he was just lying to impress me(or Chelsea, rather... I dunno...) with it, or what... But, as most of you know, I'm a plain ol' sucker for poetry, so that got me giddy.

That reminds me... I started writing another poem(it was that day I just mentioned, when I was at the pool). It actually rhymes... my first attempt at a rhyming poem. I'll type it up later... my notebook's upstairs...

I never thought Zak would have a soft side enough to write poetry, if he really does. He said he writes stories, too...

I'm tired... If I was gonna put something else, I forgot what it was.

Oh... I've been listening to a lot of music, lately. I've found many relations to my life in a lot of songs...

I just watched the movie, 'Hide and Seek.' I thought it was fantastic. I love little Emily. She's such a great character.

Anyway, I'mma get off now. Ta-ta.

--Anime

Whenever I tell someone about my feelings(being depressed and the lot) and they give me advice, I feel like the smaller person, you know? Like I'm so stupid, so weak, that someone has to tell me how to live my life, and how to survive, and how to help myself...
^ YES, I said that, thank you very much. stare