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Sassy Quotes

1. "I take life with a grain of salt, a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila." ~ Author Unknown
2. "Stop me before I volunteer again." ~ Author Unknown
3. "Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes. It's our job to stomp on them until they mature into something you would have dinner with" ~ Author Unknown
4. "I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once." ~ Jennifer Yane
5. "Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships." ~ James Shubert
6. "Men get laid, but women get screwed." ~ Quentin Crisp
7. "Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument." ~ Author Unknown
8. "Well behaved women rarely make history." ~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
9. "We are all born naked and screaming and if you're lucky that sort of thing won't stop there." ~ Author Unknown
10. "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." ~Chili Davis
11. "Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs." ~ Anon
12. "A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses." ~ Henry Louis Mencken
13. "Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families." ~ Anonymous
14. "Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support." ~ Anonymous
15. "One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one." ~ Ann Landers
16. "Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
17. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." ~ Billy Crystal
18. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." ~ Drew Carey
19. "From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true--he probably is." ~ Sex and the City
20. "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." ~ Douglas Adams

Inspirational Bits O' Wisdom

1. "You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you." ~ Maya Angelou
2. "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed." ~ Carl Gustav Jung
3. "No boy is worth crying over. And the one who is won't make you cry." ~ Sarah Kane, age 10
4. "I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want." ~ Mark Twain
5. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~ Maya Angelou
6. "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." ~ Malcolm X
7. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." ~ Erica Jong
8. "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles R. Swindoll
9. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did." ~ Mark Twain
10. "Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." ~ James Arthur Baldwin
11. "A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her." ~ Helen Rowland
12. "Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life." ~ Sandra Carey
13. "Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it." ~ David Starr Jordan
14. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." ~ Reinhold Niebuhr
15. "Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you" ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne
16. "There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do." ~ Freya Stark
17. "God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him." ~ Anonymous
18. "Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away." ~ Barbara De Angelis
19. "At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgment." ~ Benjamin Franklin
20. "Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be." ~ George Sheehan
21. "Success builds character, failure reveals it." ~ Dave Checkett
22. "Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up." ~ Anonymous
23. "For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?" ~ James Allen
24. "It is never too late to become what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
25. "If you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits." ~ Don Ward
26. "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." ~ Maya Angelou
27. "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." ~ Benjamin Spock
28. "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." ~ Howard Thurman
29. "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." ~ Douglas Adams
30. "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." ~ Anais Nin
31. "Much unhappiness has come into the world because of things left unsaid." ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky
32. "Dare to be naive." ~ Richard Buckminster Fuller
33. "Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do." ~ H. Jackson Brown
34. "Only those who risk going too far can possible find out how far they can go." ~ T.S. Eliot
35. "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars..." ~ Author Unknown
36. "Do what you can where you are with what you have." ~ Theodore Roosevelt
37. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Emerson
38. "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." ~ Author Unknown

this is so kewl