ya know how people always talk about one of their biggest regrets ever. The biggest regret for me, is the fact i was a bad person in the past. Even if you knew me back then, you didn't really see how i did it all, but it was there. It's a constant, before i would act like a good person and treat you kindly, but behind your back i would be a real a*****e, and probabbly be found saying a few things about you that either wern't true, were true, or were just all out opinions. I regret that old dead side of me, but what i regret more... is the way i used to be, i basically went on gaia just to hang out with my bro in rp's and stuff... and then i started going to the bad evil rp's and began a horrib le career of constantly cybering with any girl that came my way, or at least try.
Your probabbly thinking "omg what an a*****e." and your probabbly right, because the fact i did do that, is horrible. *Sigh* that may be bad, but the biggest regret i have ever had, is whenever i have occassionally been mean or dissappointed the girl i love, who changed my life so dramatically, by only loving me. I feel good inside, and much better, but the thing is... the regrets are still there whitch is why im trying to change them around. *sigh* now your thinking " what the hell, why are you telling us all this now" well.... the reason for that, is i just found a few of them that i had saved to show offin front of my friend... yeah i know i was an a*****e, and a ******** moron. I knew what they were from the immediate name of them, and ijust clicked them, and scrolled down to delete.
For anybody who doesn't understand why i would do this, let me give you quite a few. The fiorst and biggest reason, is my g/f who i love and cherish ect. more than anything in the world. Secondly, it goes against everything i have ever stood for, whitch totally made me realize that before i met my first reason that i was a huge hypocrite. Third, when you finnally realize that what your doing isn't really worth it, and is just like sex, except the only difference is you can't get in trouble, than you feel dirty inside.. like you were only being used for some sick game. Lastly, i realized that real love only comes once in your life, and if you just throw it away keeping some stupid cyber conversations with people you barely knew than you deserve lonliness.
*sigh* the only thing i could ever hope for is that she can forgive me, for the way i used to be, and accept the way i am now. *laughs to self* you know what's kinda funny though, is i can imagine some of you thinking im whipped but the thing about love for me, is it goes both ways. I will always love my g/f even if we broke up, because the funny thing is i may get angry, but once someone has your heart, they have it for life.
Later,
J.T.(PheonixFlare)
P.s. I LOVE YOU SWEETIE!!!!, YOUR THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!! heart heart heart heart heart
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