I feel retarded or something. Like I'm a bad girlfriend.
Like, when I think of Sam (and just my luck, he's gonna read this) I just want to hang all over him all the time. Like all the time. But the only time we really spend together is Gaming Club. And I know Sam wants to play video games. I mean, I love video games, and so does he.
Specially Super Smash Bros. (which I also like).
But honestly, i just want to pull him away from everything to just be alone. And I feel bad, because I know he's in Gaming Club to play games. sweatdrop No duh, right?
But I get into this mood like "Why isn't he paying attention? I want to be with him now." and I know that it's really selfish of me to say and think things like that.
I try to think of other things... but I swear, I look for him in the halls, and I love him to pieces, and I just want to hug him all day, but I get this nagging thing in the back of my head that makes me feel like I'm stalking him, or like... being a total freak. Especially when I write it out like I am. sweatdrop
But when he gets sad, I just want to make him feel better. And then I feel like "Hey, what am I doing? He'd let me know if he needed me, right?".
And if he doesn't tell me something, I feel hurt like "Why didn't he tell me this?" And now that I think about it, why would he tell me anything, since compared to everyone else around him, he knows me the least? Of all the people he knows who are remotely close to him, he's only known me a few months, tops.
. . .
God, I'm such a mess.
gonk
Like, when I think of Sam (and just my luck, he's gonna read this) I just want to hang all over him all the time. Like all the time. But the only time we really spend together is Gaming Club. And I know Sam wants to play video games. I mean, I love video games, and so does he.
Specially Super Smash Bros. (which I also like).
But honestly, i just want to pull him away from everything to just be alone. And I feel bad, because I know he's in Gaming Club to play games. sweatdrop No duh, right?
But I get into this mood like "Why isn't he paying attention? I want to be with him now." and I know that it's really selfish of me to say and think things like that.
I try to think of other things... but I swear, I look for him in the halls, and I love him to pieces, and I just want to hug him all day, but I get this nagging thing in the back of my head that makes me feel like I'm stalking him, or like... being a total freak. Especially when I write it out like I am. sweatdrop
But when he gets sad, I just want to make him feel better. And then I feel like "Hey, what am I doing? He'd let me know if he needed me, right?".
And if he doesn't tell me something, I feel hurt like "Why didn't he tell me this?" And now that I think about it, why would he tell me anything, since compared to everyone else around him, he knows me the least? Of all the people he knows who are remotely close to him, he's only known me a few months, tops.
. . .
God, I'm such a mess.
gonk
