So basically. Last night was a complete disaster really.
Just like a little while before Paul was supposed to come over.
He come out with how he's been smoking and had kept it from me.
Which it hurt more than quite alot. He knows why.
And I just couldn't understand why. Why he'd start again after not for so long.
Okay I knew he had three on tuesday but i thought he had more will power.
Not to have anymore. -sigh-
I went more than a little crazy on him.
Not believing ANYTHING he'd say.
Things got violent. Which to my total disgust. I started it.
We both said things. Me things I didnt mean and he claims he didn't.
But. I see how true they were. There was alot of tears.
We decided to talk it through and we did a tiny bit.
But it got a bit late for him going home then.
So he stayed. Things got happier and stuff.
Today was amazing but one of the things he said just won't rid my mind.
"I really think my mum was right. You're a ******** controlling b***h!"
It shattered my heart. It's all thats on my mind.
Last night I had a nightmare about it and couldnt sleep after because it was on my mind.
Him saying it over. And over.
Even today. We've been amazing. Yet it's still there stuck.
And guess what my lovely people.
I think she's right too. I don't mean to be. But I can see that I am.
It's tearing me up to know it.
-sigh- I just want us to be how we used to be.
Just like a little while before Paul was supposed to come over.
He come out with how he's been smoking and had kept it from me.
Which it hurt more than quite alot. He knows why.
And I just couldn't understand why. Why he'd start again after not for so long.
Okay I knew he had three on tuesday but i thought he had more will power.
Not to have anymore. -sigh-
I went more than a little crazy on him.
Not believing ANYTHING he'd say.
Things got violent. Which to my total disgust. I started it.
We both said things. Me things I didnt mean and he claims he didn't.
But. I see how true they were. There was alot of tears.
We decided to talk it through and we did a tiny bit.
But it got a bit late for him going home then.
So he stayed. Things got happier and stuff.
Today was amazing but one of the things he said just won't rid my mind.
"I really think my mum was right. You're a ******** controlling b***h!"
It shattered my heart. It's all thats on my mind.
Last night I had a nightmare about it and couldnt sleep after because it was on my mind.
Him saying it over. And over.
Even today. We've been amazing. Yet it's still there stuck.
And guess what my lovely people.
I think she's right too. I don't mean to be. But I can see that I am.
It's tearing me up to know it.
-sigh- I just want us to be how we used to be.
![[Nympho] Whore](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/12/96/3c424a02339612.png?t=1316041160_6.00_11 "[Nympho] Whore")