-I still love Freddie.
-I'm falling for somebody I don't even really know.
-I've already fallen for one of my friends.
Alright. Expounding time! Yes, I am in love with Freddie Mercury. Yes, I know it's ridiculous. No, I don't know how to stop. I've felt this way for two years now, and it hasn't faded one bit. It's not a crush: I've had those before. I never spent an entire day crying about a crush because I knew I'd never be with him. I never wrote a 374 page novel based around a relationship between two characters that reflect what I'd like to have with a crush, and then go to write even more. I've never had dreams about my crushes with the sort of power that can either cause me to be elated the next day or broken to pieces, screaming through tears. But I have with Freddie. No, I'm not exaggerating. I've tried not talking about him as much, hoping that if I didn't, I might prove that this IS a crush, not love. But I can't keep him out of my head. Even my mom (MY MOM!) thinks he's my first love. -_-
Then there's "the guy." I saw him at homecoming a few weeks back. He, coincidentally enough, looks like Freddie. It's scary. Yes, I know I have issues: you don't need to point that out. Anywho, I haven't been able to get the nerve up to talk to him, but I pass him everyday, and no matter how much I hate this about myself, I'm starting to develop feelings for him. Just feelings, though. I guess it's just a crush.
And then there's my friend. I've been trying to hide the way I've felt for him for MONTHS. Out of the people I know (not counting Freddie, of course), I have more intense feelings for him than anyone else. He and I write eachother: I keep his letters in my pillowcase. He's really into Queen, especially Brian May, he's good at guitar, he's really nice, patient, incredibly good-looking. We're really compatable, not to mention we've been friends for a while and know eachother reasonably well. Down side? He lives in Britain. xd I'm sorry, even though that does get me down a lot, right now, it just strikes me as ironic. I finally find a guy that I'm interested in and that might be interested back, and he lives across the Atlantic. My luck with guys has always sucked, anyway, so I guess now's not any different.
Oh, and did I mention that he found out that I liked him? Yeah. He knows. What are friends for, right?
So, yeah. I'm ticked off at myself. I've wanted romance or whatever (big der: I'm 15), and now I've already screwed it all up. xd Nice going, huh?
Anyways, I've got to go now. Oh, and sorry for not posting on here much, but the only reason I'm putting it here is because there are some people that read my blog that I don't want to read this, so...yeah. Maybe they won't get to it here.
Goodnight, all.
Oh, and here's a pic of Danny. Tell me what you think! smile
Love you all. smile
