Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Just how far..would one go for the one they love?

Honestly, most would say one would go to the end of the world to do anything for their lover, I for one would love to join that party, though in realistic terms..I don't fill the line's.

I used to love someone so dearly, I believed it was one of those 'true love' relationship's, seeing I believed we were in such a well grown relationship, a loving, funny, and dramatic one. A well-blossomed love..But I was wrong, once more.

Even if I felt our relationship was well, it wasn't..I've always been a little- no, a lot selfish. I'd always need to see someone's expression to know their emotion, or feeling, when with her..I should of been able to see past expression and know from the heart how she felt. I never took into count how she was feeling, and now, now that everything we worked on is gone..I can only wish I was more..giving. I wish I was more caring to her, I wish I treated her with the respect a beautiful lady as herself deserved, but no..I can only now see myself as being a jerk. Seeing her now with someone else, going after other's..It angers me, I'm jealous, I wish she'd accept me back..Not as just a friend, I don't want to be friends..

I understand the past can't be re-written, but sometimes I wish it could. I want to show her, and everyone who I've treated so horrible how truly amazing I can be, how I can respect other's and not just care only of myself; Can you give me that chance? Everyone who I've ever hurt, will you give me the chance to change and be different, be a better person then I have grown to be?...I'm hoping most would say yes, but for one the answer may not come. I think..Being friends to start could help. If we become close friends again, I could possibly have my chance of capturing her heart, again, and this time hopefully keep it.

I'm sorry, Cyn. I'm honestly sorry for the jerk I'd been to you. I know you forgave me..But, I'm still sorry. I'll accept being friends, and try to later on win you back..If it doesn't work that time, I'll do as you asked..and move on. Not everyone can have who they want, no matter how hard they try, no matter how deep it hurts...