I see your face when I sleep at night. You are always in my dreams. You may not be alive but I know you are alive in my heart. The only time we can be together is when I close my eyes at night. When I am asleep, you take me by the hand and you pull me close. You tell me you miss me and that you love me. We talk and then you tell me that I have to wake up now. I never want to leave you. But I know I have to. I know that some day we will be together for ever. You tell me so yourself. You hug me goodbye, then I wake up, and then you're gone again. I lay awake in bed thinking about you. I try not to cry because I know that tonight when I go to sleep you will be waiting for me. Then the whole thing starts over again.
Thankfully, I don't have to relive the pain that I went through the first time I lost you. I could not bear the pain if you died again. I have a feeling that if I saw you die that I myself would die was well. The shock alone would kill me.
Most of the time I feel like you died for no reason what so ever. Then I stop and think that you didn't deserve to to die. You left me alone in a cold cruel world. I started to hate you for that but then I realized that you didn't leave me because you wanted to. It was because you had no choice. I have felt the pain and hurt but now I have learned to push past it all and live my life knowing that you are in heaven looking out for me. I know I will be safe.
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I am me.lol
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