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Little entry about friends and possible crushes.


Okay, so Matt. I had a small, brief crush on him two times, one in the middle of seventh grade, one about a month and a half, two months ago when I started running with him.
First one lasted two or three weeks, the second one about two or three days, maybe four.
I really just wanna be his friend, is what it is. It's so ******** annoying, that with almost all of the boys I've had crushes on, I've just wanted to be their friends, actually. God, it's so dumb. For lots of girls, I'm pretty sure we get friends mixed up with love. If, of course, one's not already friends with him/her.
Yeah, so I really badly want to be friends with him. He's just the right mix of funny, smart and interesting. He's weird too, like the rest of my friends, but in a different way, and not bad. If i say someone's weird, it's never bad unless I say it is, which has happened........once. With someone I hated. And I didn't say she was weird because I hated her, I'm sure of that.
So yeah, he really is pretty awesome. And I'm similar to him, in personality and actions, though it doesn't seem like it at first glance, at all.

Scott. Still have a little crush on him, even though I've realized I just want to be friends.
He's really pretty similar to Matt, though doesn't seem as smart as Matt and makes me laugh a lot more. Just at the simplest things. Jeez.
He's pretty much unreachable, so I'll just have to give up on him, except if we see each other in a class sometime where we have a little time to chat about the class material, or what we have to do in it, which is always stupid.
So.....good-bye for now, Scott.

Friends. I think I've made some new ones. Kind of.


At Venturers about two or more months ago, I found someone who loves horseback riding, skiing, and some other outside stuff as much as I do, and she likes writing too, though she says she's not that great. She mostly likes poems.

At a math thing after school yesterday, I found this girl who likes writing books herself and wants to read my book. I think she may become a friend, never a best one, but never a kinda-friend either.


Okay, on a sidenote, I've got a confession. It's love, but in a different way than loves and crushes and friends.
God, this feels so weird to say, but I've finally recognized that I am bisexual. I'm fine with it and I don't care if other people know, it's just....I've been scared of lesbians for a long time, so it's like....I'm a hypocrite.
Of course, as my best friend once said, "They get the best of both worlds."
That's true, but so is this, "They get the worst of both worlds sometimes."
It can be more heartbreak when you can have girlfriends and boyfriends.
Also...........I'm not interested at getting any girlfriends at this stage in my life, though I definitely am with guys.
Oh yeeaah. >>
Maybe later when I'm, like, thirty, but not now. It's just.....I'm still not used to it.