9:07 AM Just so messed up... Just so messed up...
Last night, I couldn sleep- I mean I finally was able to... but the... the dreams I had were not like sleep.
The first part was a dream.. Sortof... It was borderline nightmare. I dunno- I played a high ranking strategist. And there were- all throughout the night there was some correlation with my dreams and slider bars. Every once in awhile the dreams would have sliders to them! I mean- real sliders- sliders that changed the size of someone, sliders that increased weapon damage-
The most prominent slider though, was time sliders. Always sliders kept popping up that dealt with making me and my allies move faster. 2x the speed I'd say. Time would pass faster, people would move faster, people would attack faster, it was freakin nuts.
I jus remember this world- this topsy turvy world. *rubs my forehead* Everything was like a maze. The rooms were like a maze. There were attempts to assassinate me, but I was always a step ahead, almost like I was psychic and new ahead of time what they'd do.
I would "wake up" in the middle of the night, my gut would be wrenching and my heart felt like it would explode at any second. But then I'd go right back into the dream- and the first thing I'd see would be the sliders that I would have to slide over to the far right to make sure everything happened faster. I wonder if maybe the cause of these dreams was due in part to the conversations I had with Mew and Kerri, about my future, about time passing me by, about wanting things now instead of waiting...
I say wake up because I wasn't completely awake. I was conscious that I woke up... but my eyes had shut down... my body would move, but the feeling was dulled... My breathing was slow, even with a sporadic movement like turning over- it was.... so messed up..
And then came the nightmare... Oh my god what a horrible nightmare... Too messed up... I don't know if it was the lack of sleep that made it happen.. I don't know if it was because I downloaded the song Bleed it Out thanks to 1337's help.. I don't know if it was because i haven't seen Sasha in several days...
There was so much blood... So much blood... *rests forehead in hands* I don't know what the hell it was about. I mean I do... But.. I honestly don't know what could've caused it. It was another one of those dreams that kindof had cartoon characters mixed up with real life people; and them living harmoniously. The characters all had a Penny-Arcade look to them, but there was only 3 total throughout the dream... It was just too messed up...
The girl was in there.. The girl from the ring... But... But she wasn't ugly- she was just furkin scary. She didn have all the mold growin on her and crap- but... So much blood... It started off 'living' through her 7 films- yes, 7, yes I know there haven't been 7 The Ring films. It was jus... Ugh I have no idea...
At first she was quite lovely- but she was a murderer from the start... Killin people... And i would watch... And the sliders- thank god for the sliders. It turned into a sortof pseudo TiVo experience where I could fast forward or skip past certain things- kindof like watching a YouTube video. As we went further and further into the movies, the scarier she got.
I don't know... It was weird... I remember there was also one more character that popped up- but I quickly got away from her. There is a game called BioShock. And it has a character known as Big Daddy. But Big Daddy wasn't a daddy in this dream. It was a half female cyborg thing... I remember leaving the area she was in, listening to her talk to a victim that she was about to slaughter. I remember hearing her tell of how she was reborn every so often, more grotesque than before. And eventually she would lose whatever self she had left.
Ugh... Which brings me back to the girl from the Ring. It was... ugh... The things that happened... the things I DID... It didn' make sense. It was like watching my version of the Ring; extremely suspenseful... Bloody... Death abound... And I don't like gorey films- I remember one scene where she came out of a pool of water- the water turned red and goopy, completely filled with blood, and she was covered in blood- there wasn't a non-bloody part on her. And she was happy...
And I don't know why- perhaps this was a defense mechanism that I quickly learned and used throughout the nightmare. A mechanism that kept me alive and kept her from killing me.... Her mouth... I would always found my mouth and lock lips with her in a kiss. I have absolutely no idea why the hell I did this- even when she was covered in blood, even the scarier and uglier she got, I would find her lips and lock mine with hers- and no matter what her lips always seemed pure and untouched by corruption. Perhaps it was a way of saying I was tempting Death? Perhaps I was giving the Kiss of Death to Death itself?
I remember one scene she actually became 'pregnant'...through the use of eating fish eggs. It was another pool incident where she laid them- wtf? She said to have children would be good, for she couldn't live forever. She wanted them to finish any jobs left untouched. In some scenes I actually even tickled her! I don't mean like what I'd do online or to a lover or something, but soft and gentle tickles that she seemed to enjoy; and always on her ribs. I have absolutely no idea; but perhaps this shows that you should never try to force dreams, no matter how much time you have left before you wake up. Because your brain will grab onto the first thing it finds, and the horrors that are unleashed.
I will consult my Book of Dreams tonight and see if I can find any MEANING behind this messed up thing. Jus... woo... The dreams or nightmares that I have... And no this doesn't mean I'm freakin crazy- it just means my dreams are masked in shadows and have their own way of showing meaning... I hope
Quixar_the_Halfbreed Community Member 
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