To start this entree off, I would like to say that you don't have to read my journal entrees. I do them because I don't feel like telling somebody how I feel right off the bat. It's awkward. And I don't like to think that somebody I know is reading these entrees. So don't remind me, but do leave a comment. Because I love comments.
Well, today was strange. I went with my mom to go to Walmart and we stopped at Quizno's and I was humming "Find A Way" and then I started to panic. I was sweating and I felt like I was going to scream and cry. I had to hide it from my mom so I went into the restroom and locked the door and I couldn't breathe. I don't know what it was. But that song triggered it...probably because I know it's Cody and Sarah's song. And for some reason anything that reminds me of what I don't have, makes me extremely sad. It's not your fault Sarah. It's a repeat of last summer. After that depression...I got anxiety. I would jump when somebody walked passed me, and I would shake in bed and such. It's different this time, but I don't know what. *confused*
Well, tommarow is a school day. There's good things and bad things about that. I'll list the good first, because the good should always come first.
Good things:
We are playing basketball in athletics.
Theater Production
I get to see meh friends.
It's a new start.
I get to wear my new clothes.
Bad things:
It's a Monday
I'm invisible.
The Anxiety Thing.
I get depressed around people with boyfriends/girlfriends. (Again...not your fault.)
School Work
Ms. Turner's class.
Long Band Practice after school.
Meh secret is starting to reveal itself.
So that's that. It's not a good balance when there's more cons than pros, but whatever. Nothing is balanced anymore. And all I want right now is music. Because it's calming. Not to mention when I was singing in the shower tonight, I could hit all the high notes in Unwritten, which is something that I couldn't do before. That's something to be proud of. *groans* I have to be quiet tommarow morning because my grandparents are here. It's going to take me longer to get ready because of it. I should start to get ready now, so I just have to go through the daily routine. I want a cool necklace.
That's a pretty cool chocker. I want a chocker, because they don't dangle in your face. And you know what really stinks? When your boyfriend gets you a really awesome necklace, and then they break up with you...so you don't feel right wearing it anymore. Well, that was the case, until it broke. Which is ok...because now I know it was cheap. Anyways, right now I feel emo. Which isn't cool. Another way to put it is I feel really depressed. And I would explain it, if I wanted everybody to know. But I don't. I'm sorry...but if everybody were to know what was bothering me. You would say I want attention, or I cause to much "drama" and such. And that's not the case. But I can't have people judging me. I'm already forgotten enough. I guess I'll end it here. And Hannah can read my mind. I'm not even kidding.
LEAVE A COMMENT
-Maggeh-
Well, today was strange. I went with my mom to go to Walmart and we stopped at Quizno's and I was humming "Find A Way" and then I started to panic. I was sweating and I felt like I was going to scream and cry. I had to hide it from my mom so I went into the restroom and locked the door and I couldn't breathe. I don't know what it was. But that song triggered it...probably because I know it's Cody and Sarah's song. And for some reason anything that reminds me of what I don't have, makes me extremely sad. It's not your fault Sarah. It's a repeat of last summer. After that depression...I got anxiety. I would jump when somebody walked passed me, and I would shake in bed and such. It's different this time, but I don't know what. *confused*
Well, tommarow is a school day. There's good things and bad things about that. I'll list the good first, because the good should always come first.
Good things:
We are playing basketball in athletics.
Theater Production
I get to see meh friends.
It's a new start.
I get to wear my new clothes.
Bad things:
It's a Monday
I'm invisible.
The Anxiety Thing.
I get depressed around people with boyfriends/girlfriends. (Again...not your fault.)
School Work
Ms. Turner's class.
Long Band Practice after school.
Meh secret is starting to reveal itself.
So that's that. It's not a good balance when there's more cons than pros, but whatever. Nothing is balanced anymore. And all I want right now is music. Because it's calming. Not to mention when I was singing in the shower tonight, I could hit all the high notes in Unwritten, which is something that I couldn't do before. That's something to be proud of. *groans* I have to be quiet tommarow morning because my grandparents are here. It's going to take me longer to get ready because of it. I should start to get ready now, so I just have to go through the daily routine. I want a cool necklace.
That's a pretty cool chocker. I want a chocker, because they don't dangle in your face. And you know what really stinks? When your boyfriend gets you a really awesome necklace, and then they break up with you...so you don't feel right wearing it anymore. Well, that was the case, until it broke. Which is ok...because now I know it was cheap. Anyways, right now I feel emo. Which isn't cool. Another way to put it is I feel really depressed. And I would explain it, if I wanted everybody to know. But I don't. I'm sorry...but if everybody were to know what was bothering me. You would say I want attention, or I cause to much "drama" and such. And that's not the case. But I can't have people judging me. I'm already forgotten enough. I guess I'll end it here. And Hannah can read my mind. I'm not even kidding.
LEAVE A COMMENT
-Maggeh-
