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emo

He has the personality disorder.....

I heard him shouting outside in the garden, then he was inside shouting and slamming doors and THEN

I heard him throwing stuff and there was lots of smashing sounds, so I went downstairs.

He was having a 'tantrum', like a 3 year old except they tend to be much less violent.

*sniffle* It's so distressing when my dad shouts, now I'm all upset. AND he broke my special mug. It was a present and I drink tea only out of this cup. There's a lovely long rant I could go on now, which extends on to other cutlery, but I think I'll leave that for another appropriate journal entry. I believe the rant brings out the 'OCD' sufferer in me....

Anyway, there was broken glass and pottery and stuff on the floor so I cleaned up the mess.

Then I started making nell some dinner, it was very late for her to be up but no one had started getting her ready for bed. I realised there was blood, my blood, pouring into it. My hands were bleeding cry and I had to make the food again.

I just stopped and burst into tears. I stood like that for a while, until my tears from all my problems had run out. Of course, no one (aka mum) came to help me because I don't get priority when it comes to care.

It's at times like this that my brain reminds me of each and every problem I have, and they all seem huge and unsolvable. And I can't think of anyone to talk to without sounding all dramatic and stupid.

It's at times like this that I decide my life is pointless and will never amount to anything and there's nothing, NOTHING, I can do to cheer me up or look forward to.

It's at times like this that I feel suicidal.

Suddenly tilly bursted in the kitchen and started singing 'I can sing a rainbow', so I sat with her and sang and then I came to the computer.

I'll go have a shower and drown my troblems......