Does anybody understand what it feels like to be out of the circle. It's like you are in the circle, and then everybody squeezes together and pushes you out. I don't know if I should try to be his friend, or just give up. But if I give up with Alex...then it will probably mean giving up with Kacey. She'll do anything Alex says, or agree with anything Alex thinks. Why can't she just be independent on her opinions. He probably hates me now. He already cussed me out. I invited him to my party, he asked if Kacey and Cody were coming...and when he heard that they were...he came. If I would of said no...he probably wouldn't of come. He didn't even give me a present! That cold, heartless, insensitive jerk. You say you forgot? THat's worse than saying you didn't want to invite me. To be forgotton. It's like forgetting your own name. Is it worth trying? I don't know. Only time will tell.
Do you know what I did today? I memorized the state capitals, did science homework, and memorized a Shakespeare Monologue a page long. I did that for entertainment. And all the while I was thinking what I did wrong to deserve to be treate like this. Why am I always forgotten? I want to be friends with everybody, but when they treat me so...I don't know whether to walk away or run faster. He's a natural at excuses. "I forgot. You could of called." What am I supposed to say? Invite me over. Then I would have to call Matt up and it would be over before he could come. I feel guilt, anger, depression, sadness, forgotten, and confused.
If you would just apoligize, I would forgive you. Instead of cussing me out and calling me names.
Kacey, if you are reading this, please know that I want to be friends with you. I think of you as one of my best friends...and if I were to lose you as a friend, I don't know what I would do. It would crush me to not be able to talk randomosity with you. Or hang out with you. Or be considered one of your friends. I hope you understand what I'm feeling at the moment. It's not easy for me to write this for the public...it's not easy for me to write this at all.
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-Maggie-
