okay okay...
my friend 3rYkA has another version of the canned soup story so forget mine...
SO, one day, this squirrel, who, by the way, was totally messed up because he wished he was human, was trying to walk on his hind legs, right? So, he was basically waddling down the sidewalk, when this small, oddly shaped, dead fly pops out of nowhere. So, our squirrel, let's call him Phil. So, Phil is just waddling, and he's like, " How do I stop this thing? I'm gonna trip!" Anywho, Phil's thinking, but he doesn't have enough time to find a solution, so he waddles right into his demise, bravely. As the bug is getting closer, it begins to look bigger, more menacing than it did before, and it's closer... closer... right in front of our dear friend, Phil, and then... then... CRUNCH! Phil lived! He just stepped right on top of that oddly shaped fly, and kept walking! But, then, as Phil brushed his hand across his forehead to wipe away a bead of sweat, he lost his balance and toppled off off the sidewalk, into the grass, and down a hill, until he crashed into a tree and died, proving that squirrels aren't meant to wipe sweat off of their foreheads, and then a large acorn fell out of that tree,and flew in the window of a house where a wife was making soup and a husband was puzzling over a broken muffler, and landed right on the counter in front of the wife, who screamed as the acorn opened and released three blind mice who had been planted in that acorn for two years so they could renact the story, three blind mice, and as those mice stumbled around, the wife began flailing around the soup spoon at the mice until one of the mice jumped into the muffler and the wife dumped the soup into the muffler hoping to drown or burn the mouse to death, but her attempt at killing the mouse was in vain because the mouse hopped out the other end just as she started pouring it, and as she screamed at the mouse, she slammed the pot down, narrowly missing the mouse's tail, but nailing the end of the muffler and preventing the soup from getting out, then being distracted by the mice jumping up and down on the other end of the muffler, which the wife then smashed together, hoping to get the mice with it, and when it didn't work, she gave up and grabbed the carving knife and chopped off their tails and her counter in the process and let the mice go because she noticed a strange cylindrical object on the counter. She walked forward and held up the can and said, " I'll call it... canned soup!" as the mice sat in the corner nursing their tail stumps back to health. But, the wife's glee was cut short by the three blind mice's lawyer who came to her house the next day and told her the mice were sueing her for everything she owned and that the mice had in fact invented canned soup and they needed it to pay for their medical bill. And so, canned soup was invented. lol
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xViolent_Shade_of_Redx
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