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Pretty shitty last couple of days. Past errors making me fear I have lost my best friend. Like losing a sister. Not like it wasnt expected. She's been giving me the shaft for sometime now, but I never thought it would come to this. I wrote a poem. Sums it all up rather nicely.

Repentance


There's a sadness sits behind these eyes
One which life may never see
But a darker, deep confession, I fear,
Keeps inside of me.

My life, although disclosed as one,
Stays truer to waking dream.
Although I see what I do
What done cannot truly be.

To scare oneself, to hide behind
These incandescent rays
Of shadows pouring from my soul
To mar my better days.

Think of me not as a friend,
But as one lost among the sea.
I float upon a bloated ship
The carrion that is me.

So when I tell you heed my words
Think nothing more than guile.
For a truer ally you will ne'er find
Unless you listen for a while.

My apologies would be loud,
Ere I had a voice.
I've left my conscious far behind,
For this life's better choice.

Yet a ring of truth can be heard,
Among these whispered tears.
Is this really me? Is this who I am?
Or just a rouse,
False,
A shell,
Of one broken from despair.