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Okay. I almost made things better with Rufus and Kadaj. I hung out with Daji most of the day but Rufus is still kinda cold. That's understandable.

Serafino of all people made me feel better yesterday. In case you didn't know, he is this vamp that just SCREAMS danger. He's new to the whole mystic powers thing and it's not 100% safe to be around him alone but I just needed someone to hug me so bad last night. He took good care of me and didn't lose control once. He even let me have this weird book. It's black and red and matches my shoes ... the language is kind of hard to read in some spots but other parts it's okay. It kind of reminds me of the lesser key of solomon ... that book on demonology? you know?

Anyway. I've been reading that all day. The only reason I'm not reading it now is because I'm getting ready for work. Did I tell you about my new night job? I sing and dance at this adorable club. The girls that work with me are wild, I love them so much. Mujo and Anten. I even got Olie to agree to work for a bit with me. I hope Yuffie will agree when I ask her too. I have my own dressing room and a bunch of fans. I get flowers and stuff all the time. It's great. Serafino said he's seen me every night ... but I still ... I don't know. I feel weird about it sometimes.

I told them I wouldn't see him anymore. You know who I'm talking about it. It hurts so much but ... I guess you have to make sacrifices when you have a family. That's what I realize they are to me now. They're my family no matter what. The three of us just work. It's the only way to describe it. They're mine and I'm theirs and that is the way it's going to stay as long as I'm alive, I guess.

I'll always want him, though. You think he'll even notice when I'm not following him around anymore? I hope he notices ...

Anyway. I better finish my makeup and get on stage. Tomorrow I want to stay with Ruru and Daji again. I missed being near them more than anything.

Night, journal.