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to day is mothers day...
and to be honest im not feeling verry happy or festidious i mean.. ive smiled and laughted and gotten my mom a Blue hydrangia and french silk pie thus testing the reaches of my chiled hood memory cause i could hardly finde the place that makes that pie. but my minde keeps crosing to the people who have to go today with out a mother...and i worrie about how much thats got to hurt... i dont know.. its not felt like a good day... we prayed for all the mothers in church today.. and i nearly cryed... just barely held back the tears... my mom wouldent understand what im feeling... and nither would kim...because Jan wasnt my mother... but she took care of me like i was... and took an intrest in me like i was... i loved her.. and i miss her still...i just dont feel its apropirate to let kimmy know that im upset to. it feels selfish of me.. i guess.... its her suffering not mine.. and i shouldent...i dont know.. intrude on it?... i dont know.. its like ive recently seen myself the way everyone els sees me... and its not good...well anyway... it just doesnt feel right today... nothing has this year...so much has gone wrong... so much has been lost...growing up kills your soul thats what people have said before... i never belived it.. but it does... it really does kill your soul... because life is not a great thing... its precious... and its short... i need to leave...
good bye every one.
"there is no greater bond than the love of a mother for her children."
Verin.
 Verin · Sun May 08, 2005 @ 11:02pm · 1 Comments |
