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july 12,2007
well here i sit infront of my computer once again. and like every night its late. watching young actors like emma watson and daniel radcliffe and emma watson fulfill their dreams always makes me frustrated. i do get jealous and thats not a problem cuz everyone does. what frustrates me the most is i have all these dreams and i cant fulfill them at the moment. its like i want to break out and start right now and just do what i want. but there always seem to be something in the way, either i dont have the money to do it, i cant do it do to family related, or i just dont know how to start off. im having doubts about my future and at this age i shouldnt be worrying about my future of financial and all that jumbo crap your suppose to worry about later in life. i dont know if i want to be a photographer i know i dont want to be an artist...i want to act...but i serisouly doubt that, i want to be in a band but no opportunities...kinda...and besides that i truthfully dont know what i want to be. how is it that i have to think about this at this moment. i feel like im wasting time im wasting life, and if i want to become something i should do it now before its to late. i once again go in circles thats my thing. as you can think i want a fictional life where my plans are already laid out i dont have to decide and that a author isnt planning it for me and let fate fall in my laps. im a needy person i am and i admit and what i need scratch that what i want is a plan that will keep me successful and i feel like i cant tlk to my family about this cuz they dont care. hopefully i can think of something before i graduate and start my path. well thx for listenin or more like readin.
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