Had an emotional breakdown today. All started when we got progress reports in Civics and I had a D (even though it was a high D). First thing through my mind was: how will my mom react - oh joy another week of being ignore. Woopdeedoo!!
I was fine until third hour American History. I started to feel really trapped and isolated and surrounded all at the same time and felt like I couldn't breathe. I kept asking Coach Groom if I could go to the bathroom but it took him a while to hear me.
I spent about 20 minutes in there crying banging my head against the door. After that I went back to class and started to feel the same feeling - isolated, surrounded, and trapped while being unable to breathe. Coach came down the aisle and leaned close to my desk and asked if I was okay. I just shook my head and asked to go talk to Mrs. Ellender - she's the type of teacher who is SUPOSED to be trained to handle these sort of things properly.
Instead, she kept smiling and telling me I was crying for pity and that I -COULD- do better than what I was doing in school and such. That just made me cry more and I started to hit my head on the wall. She grabbed me by my arm and brought me to the guidance office where she wanted me to talk to Mrs. Fields.
Mrs. Fields was already busy with someone so I sat on the floor till one guy got up and picked me off the floor and put me on the bench where he was sitting. Then he gave me some kleenex while Mrs. Fields finished up with her last 3 students real quick and let me in.
She let me rant, cry, scream, choke on my crying and words, hiccup, she let me get everything I needed to get out - out. She called my mom, though, and she set up a meeting for tomorrow morning. If my mom lets, Rami will be allowed to sit by me and stay with me the whole time. Mrs. Fields says she has no problem with it - just as long as my mom allows it its okies.
After that I went back Algebra II (I was in there a long time)) and waited a bit to go back to Coach Groom's class to get my stuff. I kept crying through Algebra II though. Heidi - who is a girl who absolutely hates me because I'm friends with Josh (sorta) asked me if I was okies.
I talked to Rami afterschool and she drove me home while I explained the whole thing to her. We stopped by the library and she renewed a book she checked out because she wants me to read it. She says it'll cheer me up well.
Then she hung out at my house for a while. And now here I am. Feeling, still, somewhat trapped as I talk to Lily, Rex, Jessica, and Mike.
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