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the televangelist voice rang out arross the room to meet my burning ears.



i keep getting in and out of the bath]

the luke warm water blankets me

in a way that realality could never acchieve.

damn

i am tired



i listend to the televanglist in the bath

watching the gaying sky

thinking of

the color of your eyes

they are green?

no blue?

or....everything

or maybe it just your my

--------------------

no poetry. sorry.

havent written any.

i have had some crazy mood swings these past few weeks...

morbidly depressed

uncontainably happy

then

there the time in between

walking around with only

white noise

in my ears



love is a painful addiction.



but there it is again.

love: my verbal sin



i feel it is prematurely spoken.

i have seen it said over and over and over again.

i dont think i could ever

love?



why are people so nice to me?

it scares me.

why dont they just ignor me

like they used to.

.........

its the white noise again

god i think i am going crazy.

am i pulling people with me?

..............

why do i always smile around other people

only around other people.

.............

i think i can see

what i am in

the mirror

maybe

thats why i dislike my reflection

what is a reflection anyway?

it has no volume.

no mass.

its not make from little atoms

bonding together

holding it making it

solid.......

maybe we are mirrors.

showing the word what it wants to see.

tiny little faces filled with:

passon

dreams

hope

sorrow

love?

you?

us?

never?

always?

there is a daddy long leg on my mouse.

or there was...

he dropped from the cealing..

i am in the pantry....

well. bye.

good night

wow theres more spiders up there....s**t.