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I don't know why but tonight when I layed down to go to sleep, I started thinking about "I'll cover you" from Rent and I started crying and crying and crying and I can't stop. I just keep thinking about Collins and Angel and I know it's stupid but I think, what if that were me and Dustin? I don't know what I would do if he died. I'm guessing I would commit suicide. And I would never forgive myself if I died and left him. I would hate myself for hurting him. So I guess all I can do is take care of myself and don't put myself in danger, for his sake. I don't know what to do now because I just feel so sick inside. I guess I'll just sleep now.