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Now before I start anything, you must excuse me for my atrocious spelling. Anyone of my friends could tell you how bad I spell, but I spell checked and everything so hopefully it's not too bad. Now on with the show.

Lately I've been thinking, thinking a great deal actually. About love, school, accomplishments, friends, and a lot of other things. I've come to the realisation that I haven't done very much with my life, but I've had a lot of experiences.

Take my friends for example. I have a lot of them, now granted most of them aren't as quality as I'd like, but some of them are. Take Carissa for example (`Vile Fixation here on gaia). She's been there for me through everything from moving to boys to sex. We've been friends since grade 5 and we're as close as friends could get. She cries, I cry. She's happy, I'm happy. I love that girl. We've been through everything together. Awkward firsts like puberty and kisses and high school. I love her to death.

And what about my love life. Now that's something to talk about. I've had more short term relationships then I can shake a stick at, but nothing with real substance. Except this one boy. Now I don't know if you can call what we have a relationship, considering he lives over 2000 km away, but that doesn't stop me from loving him so much it hurts. Every time I talk to him I beg him to come up and see me. But in all reality I know that that will probably never happen, and that I'll never get to truly experience what it would be like to be with him. So I guess I'll have to continue with my lame excuses for boyfriends and flings and random hook ups until I can find someone as truly perfect as him. Gosh I sound like such a lame girly girl.

Something that's been worrying me a lot lately is my dad and his insane excuse for a rent charge that he's dumped on me. I personally think that $480 a month for rent on one room is horrid and shouldn't have even been thought of considering that I hardly make that a month. So I've been looking for a place. I've also been thinking about going through all my stuff and throwing out all the stupid crap I've accumulated through out the years. I bet I've got a lot of crap. I think I'll start with my books. I have a lot that I don't read any more.

And lastly, school. I've finally completed it, but in all reality I haven't because I've probably failed Drama and French, because I didn't seem to care enough about my last semester in school to really go to all my classes and hand all my homework in, which in all reality is WAY LAME. I should have paid more attention to my mom and dad when they warned me about school and not doing well. Now I have to take a year of school to "find myself", more like get better grades so I can get into a decent university. I've known what I've wanted to do since I was in grade 10, but I obviously didn't care enough to try my best. I want to be a drama teacher as some time in my life. Now when that will happen is a completely different story.

Well, it's getting late and I need my beauty sleep. So goodnight all, thanks for reading.

Love Wingless