well if you don't know what's going on read my journal entry before this.... anyways...
*sigh* i can't believe how mad Amanda is getting it's stupid, she has neil to take care of her, so i know she doesn't need me, and right now i know i will not be able to control my rage when i see her. She should not be saying s**t about my g/f first.... but she should deffinetly not try to blame all her problems on my g/f, saying things like "before she came around there was something good going on." that's not true because back then i was miserable, even if i was helping someone i was always sad, not even a smile, and if or when i did smile it wasn't real, but now it's different. whenever i hear Jillian ((a.k.a. my catgirl)) speak i feel like everything doesn't matter so much anymore, but when we have to stop talking and hang up the phone, i feel sad in a way like there was more i could do or say and i didn't.
when i don't talk to jill though i just feel a huge rage towards amanda. it's funny how she suddenly became the " guru" or knowing about love when she has never found it, and it's amazing how hypocritical she is saying things about couples between our friends and s**t when it wasn't all that much more different for her. I really don't care for her problems anymore because she CONSTANTLY uses them as an excuse to make people feel sorry for her. a lot of her problems though, are self-created... like when she pissess off her mom and stuff. Either way i know the minute i see her or talk to her She is hella going to get yelled at and nothing will stop me, even if she tries to use the whole oh im depressed bullshit that she does. I refuse to lose this rage untill i get to finnally tell her how seriously pissed i am about her treating my g/f the way she did. NOBODY... i really mean that nobody can talk s**t on my g/f... especially when i hear about it because when i do that person wills eriously hear my oponion or get the s**t beat out of them, and i can either do it myself or just have a friend do it if i don't feel like dealing with it.
*sigh* either way i love jillian and nothing will ever deteriate that, and i'll be dammned if i ever have to tolerate someone saying s**t about her.
Later allz,
PheonixFlare J.T.
PheonixFlare Community Member 
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