Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

1. Im slowly digging my hole..my grave...im hurting others and myself...what i lack is self disipline..and self control...
2. I can hardly follow through when i hurt somone..when i leave them i come crawling back....
3. I make life harder then what it should be..that i do not understand...i understand the easiest way to unload all the pressure..but that involes hurting others..
4. I hate to hurt others even tho i seem to do it oftain and deeply...
5. I seem to have mood swings a bit oftain...specially when i think about everything ive done...i can never be calm....i belive i need to take a break...
6. A break from the computer..a break from my friends...a break from my gf....just a break from life...maybe this summer i can have that break...
7. This summer i will under go training ...i will train my self to have more disipline...more respect for me and others..and more control...and not to cheat or flirt..
8. It feels as if i hold alot of pressure within me..like..im tence..and mad alot..and i dont know how to relive myself of that...maybe the break will help...
9. I feel as though as im just now learning about who i am..what i am..and what makes me me....and why i do the things i do....also learning simple things like the music i like.
10.When im pissed off.....it takes alot to calm me..and i dont even know what calms me..
11. My theory on me staying faithful is that the one who im dating..must be with me at all times....on my time...not when she feels like it..but when i feel like...whitch seems wrong..i know...it seems highly unethical..no girl would ever do that for me...
12. Ive never had much compassion in my life....so when i have it..i love it..im addicted to it....i always want more..with leads me to cheating....i always seem to like compassion over passion ...rarly its the other way around.....