Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Do you ever get that feeling like your friends aren't really friends but just "those people that let you hang around them".....It's quite a lonely feeling, isn't it? In fact when you come to the realization of it all it's actually a little shocking. You keep looking back at the past and you wonder just exactly how long it's been going on.
I always used to think "oh it's no big deal. See? The're fine which in turn makes you fine. Shake off your stupid mistake and just keep smileing!" But when I think back on it im still ashamed to have made those mistakes. It's no wonder some people think i'm an idiot...all I can do sometimes is act stupid. I ignore every nerve in my brain that says "Don't do that! You'll regret it later!" and do it anyway... I guess it's because if I don't something bad might happen...it might change for the worse... heh it's kind of funny...I live for doing anything remotely adventurous but I fear change...at least change in people..their opinions......
pft...I'm just overthinking things! baka....I guess i've had my monthly break down(not that kind of monthly perv) and I can go back to being happy Allie again!^_^
As the Naruto song says "Be able to smile as you walk!" I've got Otakon to look foreward to! And High School will be here in another couple of months!(won't that be intresting... sweatdrop ) So I'll just keep myself occupied until then! (Summer=boredom and boredom=depression xp )