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a bit of a ritorcal question here or more of a ranting out loud before i burst type deal... but i really want to know what others think about this way of thinking about leadership... i've always wanted to lead but been too 'polite' to do it... for lack of a better term. sweatdrop

do you think by being a leader you are ultimatly being selfish at the same time? because i mean your making choices you might have no right to make... i dunno some times in school i want to lead when the others fall silent and don't have idea's but i don't because i don't really think i have the right. i guess i'm very big on free will and not being too bossy and don't want to take that away from people but still when nobody makes a decision in like drama class then we fail i kinda wish i had spoken up... sweatdrop or in a discusion today everybody kept getting the theory behind a passage wrong and it was apparently evident i didn't agree with everybody to the point where the stduent running the discusion stopped everybody and asked me if i had something to say but i didn't say anything because it was so different and i had already answered too many already... i just don't really know if it's right to lead or speak up when everybody hates you in your grade... i guess i'm just too passive and socally challenged overall, i try to trouble people very little, i never complain about being sick, i never say somethings unfair and i never stand up to people just because i don't want to cause trouble. i mean one time i went to school for 2 hours before getting sick just because my mom had work and my dad wanted to go see a movie. they're not bad parents... but for some reason i just never really feel worth causing them or anybody else any hassle, more often then not at a larger then normal cost to myself...
i realize this rant about leadership has turned to something else entirly but i need to get it out. plus im sure very few people read this anyways.