-
He placed mahogany in her eyes
Where the ocean sapphire was once.
But why destroy when rivers currents
Can sweep you away?
Silver chains that bind her
And endure the stress of will;
Why let waterfalls erupt,
Yet shield shades darker than black?
He slays the true demon who breathes
Ice, not fire.
Why still shutting dark wings without thought
At the close of day?
- by possum fool |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 10/18/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: Be Like Her
- Artist: possum fool
- Description: It still needs a lot of work, but it's a start. Obviously there is a meaning behind every single word in this poem but I'll let you find your own..
- Date: 10/18/2008
- Tags: jealousy girl eyes love
- Report Post
Comments (4 Comments)
- TheGibbles - 10/20/2008
- A very well written piece of work.
- Report As Spam
- Teayo - 10/18/2008
- It's very well written and like what the others have said a little more punctuation ..
- Report As Spam
- Old Karrot - 10/18/2008
- It's an excellent poem and I feel the words describe a lot of convection to the reader. They say nothing bites quite as hard as jealousy. Like the last person wrote some more punctuaction might stress pauses and give the poem better flow.
- Report As Spam
- Efface - 10/18/2008
- It's powerful, but I might suggest trying some more punctuation. Periods, commas and semi colons at the ends of some thoughts will make the reader naturally pause and soak up more of the meaning of the poem.
- Report As Spam
- |
- |
-
Submit
