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I write this more for myself then for anyone else to read but I guess I also write this for the ones I know who really do care. Like Erin, Jordan, Anthony and a few others that shall remain nameless. I cried for the first time today in a long time. No not phycail tears but ones of the heart. I have so much to do and so little time. Friends seem to moving on and dissappearing left and right. I don't know where my life is going but in the end I leave it up to God.
My Mom is planning on moving before the year is out to get away from my farther. Normally I take on these situations with a laugh and don't outwardly worry about them. Bu this time its different. My mom has been going through so much mental, phycail, and emotion stress latly I don't know if she could take the strain of supporting us kids. I find myself wanting... No needing to help her but I have no means to do so. I plead with my soul for answers they do not have and look to friends that I do not ask. In the end I feel I am in over my head.
And for the first time in a long time I care... I want my family to be a family I don't want things to change. I want to stay in the house I have called home for over hal my life. And to leave this place iunwillingly would be as if to leave a piece of myself behind. So here I stand asking... no Begging for some advice, I love my mom very much but... My dad has been although I would normally deny it, the one who has really always been there for me. Sure he can be an a** but in some way he has always had good intentions. And I feel him counting on me to be there for him. I feel so pulled, I want to go two ways at once but I can't so in the end.
What shoudl I do?...
 Erogassa · Sat Aug 13, 2005 @ 04:51am · 4 Comments |
