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I know I said I would stop writeing about my life in here, but I can't I must once more....Well today I broke out in tears seeing my grandmother crying, Why? Because she's dieing, and it'll be soon too. Shes looseing her memory, forgetting us. And her first great grandchild. He's terrifed of her , since they say the little ones can smell the death on a dying person. Well. I dont want her to die. I want her to be there for my wedding and for my graduation, but I know I'm expecting to much of her. When I say that. I just know it'll never be the same haveing her house so empty when's shes gone and not getting scolded byt her or not haveing to go to the store for her and hearing her laughs , I'll miss them the most. I'm near tears right now just writeing this, Seeing as how her brains leaking out of her skull so she's dying, I don't want her to die! I don;t want anyone dead! It's been to much pain in my life with everything. I know I don't have the shitest life ever but I hate it. I don't want this life I want my grandmother to live. With us For a long time. But I can't even expect 3 more years from her. She wants to die peacfully. But I know. It'll hurt when she leaves. She means so much to us and it'll leave a huge gap when shes gone ...all I know is that I love her with all my heart... and I wish her the best of health however long she has left....