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Wow, I've had a really crappy day. I slept in late, and missed sociology AGAIN! I'm beginning to think that I'm going to flunk that class. I had a lot of bad nightmares too. In one of them my mom was yelling at me because I wasn't doing well enough in school, just that type of thing. I still remember some of them and it's almost been 24 hours... I'm sick of having to study this hard too. I feel like that there is something still wrong with me,....like I'm never going to be able to take pressure again, or ever be able to be proud of what I accomplish, ever again. And then I feel like I'm making myself into a martyr in my head. I don't know exactly what to do about this.

I'm just sick with life, and nothing seems to help.

I basically came home today and cleaned for 3 hours without sitting down ever. My mom is acting weird I think my dad has been being mean to her. He does that from time to time, with me my mom, whoever is around I think.

I'm sick of this though, and if I'm having these problems now, what is going to happen when I try to do more? I know that I made a major change between last semester and this, but still I'm worried.

I've been kind of going back to the way I was, putting myself down and being depressed, eating because of that. It started like that because I was looking at old pictures, it really made me sad. It brought back all the bad memories. I don't even remember any good ones without the bad ones taking over.