Wow...
I don't know what eles to say....
I missed you all very much and wished I could have been on sooner but it's been busy in my house. Well, not for me at least.
The reason why I say that is because, I haven't gone to school in 4 weeks. I don't know why. I just haven't been up-beat latley. I've been feeling, kind of sad. Not so much depressed sad. More like, "envious" sad (so said the therapist). It happen one day when I was watching a Gravitation anime marathon. As I watched it, I started to get jealous. In a way that I wanted that life. The "gay rock-star with a mysterious and cold novelist lover" life. Then, I watched this German movie called "Summer Storm (sommersturm)". I loved it! It was fantastic! You should watch it!! Anyway, I started to feel sad towards that movie too. It was about this teenage boy on a kayak team and they go to a tournament. While there, he finds his sexuality among drama and romance. Last, I seen a movie about a British teen boy who falls in love with a jock at his school. The jock is having a hard time with his sexuality, and doesn't want anyone to find out that those two are lovers. But, soon enough, he doesn't care who know of his love.
Maybe I need to stop wishing my life was like a movie. But, it's hard not too. Those lifes are perfect. But, my life isn't too fun-- I'm failing school (haven't been in 4 weeks), my brother is selling and useing drugs, my little brother is an anger schizophrenic, my mother might still be selling drugs just to pay the rent, my self-pitty is killing me inside which I am so sick of.
I think, I'm bipolar. See, I'm usually up-beat, happy, and sweet. But, time to time, I'll slip into a manic depression. Which, I think, interferes with my love life and social life. I just need to realize that, I have lots of people in my life that love me. At least, I hope they do...
Anyway, thanks for listening to my problems.
Me loves you all!!
♥ heart ♥
I don't know what eles to say....
I missed you all very much and wished I could have been on sooner but it's been busy in my house. Well, not for me at least.
The reason why I say that is because, I haven't gone to school in 4 weeks. I don't know why. I just haven't been up-beat latley. I've been feeling, kind of sad. Not so much depressed sad. More like, "envious" sad (so said the therapist). It happen one day when I was watching a Gravitation anime marathon. As I watched it, I started to get jealous. In a way that I wanted that life. The "gay rock-star with a mysterious and cold novelist lover" life. Then, I watched this German movie called "Summer Storm (sommersturm)". I loved it! It was fantastic! You should watch it!! Anyway, I started to feel sad towards that movie too. It was about this teenage boy on a kayak team and they go to a tournament. While there, he finds his sexuality among drama and romance. Last, I seen a movie about a British teen boy who falls in love with a jock at his school. The jock is having a hard time with his sexuality, and doesn't want anyone to find out that those two are lovers. But, soon enough, he doesn't care who know of his love.
Maybe I need to stop wishing my life was like a movie. But, it's hard not too. Those lifes are perfect. But, my life isn't too fun-- I'm failing school (haven't been in 4 weeks), my brother is selling and useing drugs, my little brother is an anger schizophrenic, my mother might still be selling drugs just to pay the rent, my self-pitty is killing me inside which I am so sick of.
I think, I'm bipolar. See, I'm usually up-beat, happy, and sweet. But, time to time, I'll slip into a manic depression. Which, I think, interferes with my love life and social life. I just need to realize that, I have lots of people in my life that love me. At least, I hope they do...
Anyway, thanks for listening to my problems.
Me loves you all!!
♥ heart ♥
