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February 2007 Monthly Collectable Item Critique |
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This month's items are the Celebrity Date, Dark Star, and Celestial Wrap!
 Stars 3x
I have to admit, I half expected this to happen. Not the release of an item that gives you a second avatar. That I kind of knew it was going to happen anyway since pets and that baby Zurg are quite popular. I'm talking about the fact that the letters are releasing three items again instead of two. And strangely enough, I'm not all that impressed with what they have to offer from the get go. I do, however, find it odd that only one item out of the three relates to the holiday going-on's, which hasn't been done since the Olympic Items were released. Then again, they released three different items involving stars in some sense of the word.
All My Gaians Are Belong To Me!
According to the Collectible Item Info page...
"The cast of Gaia's most popular TV soap opera, All My Gaians, recently opened a contest that lets you spend time with a cast member of your choice... and you won!"
I think someone must have invented a cloning machine or some kind of celebrity holorobot like on that episode of Futurama when Fry dated a Lucy Lu-bot. In any event, let's go check out the cast of characters and see who they are compatible with!
Nick is your default character for this item. (God, that's going to get uncomfortable to type for me, seeing as how these are technically people in once sense.) He is your shy and cute type that is found in nearly every anime involving some kind of romance and drama. Girls will pick this guy for the conservative nice guy that mom would like. Guys would pick him because, well, let's face it, he looks like a "uke." To match, your dress should be just as casual and conservative. Nothing fancy like other Collectables or any of the various costumes, but at the same time nothing too strong on the dark side of the Good-Evil spectrem. Also, try to keep your dress light to allow yourself to enjoy the romantic warmth of spring as you roll around laughing in the grass on some hill in the middle of a park somewhere.
Yuki is the counterpart for Nick as far as general apperance goes. However, unlike Nick, she is very perky and outgoing like most girls in animes that take place somewhere in a Japanese school. Girls would probably pick her for that "cool and popular" friend look. Guys would pick her for that "I'm dating the cutest girl in school" look. Not surprisingly, given her quirky pose, you can dress a little more liberally with Yuki than you can with Nick. Girls would probably enjoy dressing up in a similar school uniform, complete with backpack and act like they are going off to school. Guys would probably like to take either the jock angle or the bad boy angle, both of which compliment her quite well. Incidently, if you have Mochi in your inventory, you can have the little puppy tag along as well! After all, girls love dogs, even though Yuki has a Kiki Plush Key Chain on her backpack (PRADUCK PLACEMEANT!!11!!! OMG!!!!1!1).
Ren is the kind of guy that always looks like he's about ready to kill someone and cares only about what he is good at. The perfect impossible crush in most animes because there is nothing more entertaining than watching some love-struck fool get shot down in the most comical way possible: by a man hum-grunting at every question as he walks right pass them. Girls will want to pick this silent stud for a little secret he holds behind his guitar case that makes him a little bit more adorible. Guys will probably want to couple up with him as a fellow band member or that silent-but-loving Top for the bubblely-but-sensative bottom. To match his dirty look doesn't take that much effort, but don't be surprised if you end up noticing a major height and style differance when you throw on some of the more worn-out items. They are starting to show their age, particularly in some of the worn-out jackets I own. Don't bother using either of the guitars unless you plan on holding them in front, because you can't see them. And don't try for that juxaposition that Gravitation does with the hard-edge guy with the stylish counterpart. Anything that isn't dark and/or dirty clashes with Ren's outfit horribly.
 Ines is Ren's bandmember and polar opposite in more ways than one. She also doubles as Moira's doppleganger! You know what this means, right? Both guys and girls of the Gaia goth scene will want to pick her for one reason, and one reason only: SHE ROX HARD CORE!!! Okay, maybe not really, but that's how I see it. The only sets that match her that are appropriate are most of the goth sets and, well, pretty much anything with fishnets and that strange color of pink-purple her guitar is. Not much as far as flexibility goes, but what do you want from a Goth Rocker chick? Much like Ren, don't bother using a guitar, as it looks rather awkward. From the back, you can't see it; in the front, it blocks her guitar. If you have the Angelic Microphone, you should be happy with how they line up, because it makes the two of you look like you're sharing the spotlight on stage.
Rick Lond is the James Bond of the bunch. He's apparently a gambler more than he is a secret agent, but either way his stance and expression reads that he is of money. Girls will want to pick him for the obvious reasons: cute AND rich! Guys? I don't know, exactly. In my playing around with what matches with this guy, I found out that dressing up in as formal drag as I can get looks rather sporting with Lond around. Hell, I was able to make a Bride and Groom combination with just the Elegant Veil alone! Unfortunately, formal wear is the only thing that will match with Lond for both genders. And much like Ren, guys will notice that the formal wear available is starting to show its age. The blacks in the tuxes don't match each other, so you men are better off either buying a different color tux or sporting a different kind of formal wear. Investing in the Gold Mountain Employee shirt helps some, but not by much.
You can't have a soap opera without the gold-digging vixen, and Adriana fits that bill for us! This Jessica Rabbit knock off sports a pose that shows just how friendly she really is. Guys will want her for the obvious reasons: her boobs and her butt! Girls will probably want her as a way of stabbing the guys in the heart of not making them hornier than a rose vine with the Lipstick Lesbian imagry Adriana seems to be lending herself to. I guess in order to get as rich as her, you'd bang anyone you could. Unfortunately, much like Lond, you can only really match her style with formal wear. The more expensive, the better. Guys will probably have an easier time matching than girls, but girls have a larger selection to mix and match from which offers a unique output when combined with Adriana's red dress and diamond tiara. However if done right, you can make her appear to be your head harem harlette with the right fantasy outfit. Just keep in mind that you'll have to somehow match the red she is covered in, and you'll be fine.
Overall, the cast of All My Gaians is a very interesting bunch of characters, each pertaining to one faction or another of the Gaia population. The best part is they swing both ways, showing acceptance for both sexual preferances... even though I'm pretty sure Lond doesn't like the idea of lossing his a** to someone in a manner that doesn't involve a card game. What I don't like about the cast is that their outfits limit to what you can wear while in their company. In some sense, this is counter-productive given how the recent trend of Collectables is to either accent an outfit or create a new one entirely. The only thing this item does is give you an excuse to save up for something formal to wear or for that gothic outfit you've been eying but found no reason to buy it.
The bottom line? Good idea, okay execution, but very bad flexiblity.
 The Universe is Blue?
Apparently someone has to explain something to me. We have the Solar Cloak; we have the Lunar Cloak. So why did we need the Cestial Wrap?
Well, here's why. Replacement items. You'll see as you continue to read on.
The default mode of this item is the Cosmic Cloak. Here, you are given a cloak that tells everyone from the get-go that you are some kind of wizard who has mastered the powers of the universe. Harry Potter and Merlin cosplayers are better off staying away from this item, as it doesn't lend itself very well to anything black or to that big white beard. It also doesn't seem to like the various Magic Wands. The only way you can use this with the wants is by holding them in the foreground hand in something other than the default "hands down at your side" position. Other than that, it's just another cape that just so happens to be blue and featuring stars.
Cosmic Wreath is pretty much the second Halo replacement to come around. Why so soon? Because the Dark Halo wasn't as satisfying to those who wanted a Silver Halo. Well, they got it with this mode. There isn't much of anything left to say about that except that the halo is bigger than the original Angelic Halo.
Orbital Rings turns your avatar into the nucleous of an atom. Or rather, the center of the universe as far as the theme of the item goes. The flexiblity of this mode is somewhat limited, but I found out that it does make the UFO Kart look like some kind of pimped up version. The only other use I can see this being used for is part of a superhero costume, but that's just me throwing darts in the dark. I have nothing that even comes close to a superhero outfit short of last Halloween Event's Mask you got from Jack.
Orions Belt is not only a real-life constillation, but the next mode of this item. Here, several large planets form a sash-like belt around your person. However, much like the Oribital Rings, this doesn't really work very well with many outfits. The only outfit that worked for me given my inventory was a god-like figure, but that is if you invested in last month's item (namely Gift of the Goddess). You'll be hard pressed to pull off this item using any other item or clothing set given how different it is from everything else in all of Gaia.
Spiral Galaxy is one of the first background modes that actually functions like a background instead of part of the item a la the Pixie and Lunar Cloak. Here, your avatar stands in front of what may be seen as a portal into the cosmos or some sideways mini-milky way. This mode is great for elevating your avatar to Godlike status without having to invest into too many of the more expensive fantasy items. You can even use some of the non-fantasy items with this! However, this only looks good from the front. Like some the Elemental Hairs, this mode covers a good portion of the avatar from behind. I expect to see several "Momo in Space" avatars in the Arena next week.
Cosmic Scarf is, by most people's point of view, the replacement for the Angelic Scarf. It covers up the same amount of facial area and provides twice the flowing ends as the original. Surprisingly is how flexible the scarf is, since it is right in the middle of three color groupings. Dressing up in anything that leans towards the blue, black, or cool whites matches this scarf rather well. The added stars that sparkle around the scarf make it almost pointless for you to have a Pixie in the Pixie Dust Scarf mode. This is, without debate, the most successful mode of this item in terms of flexibility. If you missed out on getting the Gift of Goddess but still want to have that Kaguya's Robe look, get this item if only for this mode.
Overall, the flexibility of this item is very awkward. The blue and silver coloring of the object only lends itself to so many combinations. That, and the odd look of modes like Orbital Rings and Orion's Belt just make it impossible to produce something that would look half-way decent without twice as much effort being put towards it.
The bottom line is that the item only has one or two great modes that anyone should invest in. Everything else is just too difficult to work with unless you have the right items.
It's no Hiraikotsu...
...but it will do for some. Mostly those in Gaia that like dressing up like ninjas. Unfortunately, that's the only crowd of people that the Dark Star will favor.
With the exception of one mode, most of what the Dark Star has to offer comes in pairs. The first pair is being able to keep the big throwing star on your back. Your orientation includes crossed in a X formation or as a cross. Given the size, this is pretty much how you'll be carrying the Dark Star. Ninja Cosplayers should have fun with this mode, as it doesn't obstruct anything in the front of the avatar while supplying a rather nice background weapon that just hints as to how deadly and intimidating it can be.
Because it is a weapon, another pair you can wear this item as is in your hand! Not surprisingly, you can duel equip this item to make you twice as deadly. You also have the option of equipping the Dark Star as either a blade or as a giant star that seems to attatch to your wrist. As such, your best bet for this weapon is to eqiup yourself with whichever of the 90's gloves you fancy. The white strip by the wrists reads as a metal joint for the star/blade. Every other glove just looks awkward with the star there.
Following the trend of the Flame Sword, the Dark Star has a pair of modes that are meant to be humorous in a very sick form. These modes are pretty much having the Dark Star impale you in either the front or the back. Much like the Flame Sword, you will want to invest in an Emoticon Mask like the Gonk Mask or even the Shocked Mask. If you are still a Grombie, you won't need these, as it will only enhance your undeadness by having something impale your side without affecting you in the end.
The final pair is with a smaller version of the Dark Star to be worn as some kind of decorative headgear. You have the choice of using the item as either hair clips or a rather dangerous monocule. The hair clips are pretty much standard for a Gaia item like this, and they don't look half bad. The only bad thing about it is that they don't match up very well with the Bao. Both the hair style and the actual hat are higher than where the stars sit, which is a shame because of how great they would look at the base of those buns. The monocule mode, however, isn't as great. Depending on the shape of your eyes, this mode can look either eally bad or really good on you. Because the majority of the Gaia avatars I've seen tend to have bigger eyes, I am pretty confident in saying that nobody will be able to wear this mode and make it look good unless you look like "pouty face" in the examples.
The "odd man out" of the group is Assault Formation. Here, the Dark Star multiplies itself and ends up circling the area around your head like the Chain of Command. And much like the Chain of Command, this similar mode doesn't look that great. At least with the chain, you have the option of coupling it with the Straw Hat to make it look like a new item. With the Dark Star, you don't have that luxury. The Dark Star covers so much area around the face that it ends up making your avatar look completely unattractive in every way possible. There's no way to save this mode that I have found. If there is, you probably need a specific set of items in order to pull it off and no other way around it!
Overall, this is a nice weapon to add to the Gaia Armory, but like the Katana, it will only favor one group of users. It also is so bulky, that anyone using it as just a weapon to have on their avatar is better off getting something smaller. There's only one decent accessory mode, which is new for any weapon really, but that's about it. You can't even get out of dressing up like a ninja and still be able to use this item properly!
The bottom line is that this item was unnessicary. A nice addition, but better left off to be bought as a store item. The fact that the only decent mode is the Mini Stars also make me wonder why it was released as a Monthly Collectible.
Seeing Stars
I don't like having to review three items like this. I really don't like it when these items have modes so unique to themselves that they take so long to review them. This is the third time in a row that this has happened, but surprisingly those items are the better of the set they've released for their respective months.
That being said, the overall appeal of this month's items are on the very low end. I don't think I've ever been so disappointed with a month's items from begining to end. Normally, over the course of critiquing, my opinions change, often for the better. However, this time around, the initial reaction to the items held true until the end. The only thing saving the items from a total slamfest critique was the concept and design.
But concept and design can't save this month's set. The execution and compatibility with the avatars for every item sucks. I'll be trying them out as often as I can just to see if something works with them, but chances are really high that nothing you or I can do will gain any aesthetic benifit from any of these items short of "sticking to the set."
 Zeek Slider · Fri Feb 16, 2007 @ 03:29am · 6 Comments |
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