Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Ever just have one of those days? You know the ones, the complete crap ones. It's certainly annoying and I always find myself anxiously awaiting them to just be over. Whether it be work related, or anything else. Let's just take today for example. Today was fine, it was my day off. Finally a day I could rest and do something I like. Everything was all fine and dandy until I get swarmed by Julia's parents about. Oh you guessed it, college.

You see I'm going to be complete and honest here. I really really wanted to go to college about 3 years ago. I always wanted to design video games or do something with art. Sure, it wasn't probally going to lead me to something that made a huge amount of money. Or was the typical normal carreer path. But, darnit it was all I enjoyed and all I was good at. Well, I wanted to pursue this venue. Then, I met Edward Harris.

See, I met this man due to his daughter. I really like his daughter, so I communicated with him for that fact. I lived in Illinois, my girlfriend lived in Tennessee. We met online, so our relationship was by no means conventinal. So I had to do everything I could to please the man that could end the relationship with his daughter. Me being 620 miles away, there wouldn't of been much I could have done to prevent it.

You're probally confused right now. You're probally thinking, "Well, I'm sure getting along with the girlfriends dad isn't THAT big of a deal." Well usually, no it isn't. But, this man is strange. He seems to take enjoyment out of living through his daughter. Every friend she has, he wants to be around as if they're his friend too. Which hey might not be a bad thing. But, he get's so overbearing that he will talk with you more then his daughter. So, Julia's friends visits spent over at the house would more be like, visiting Julia's dad. While Julia just kinda sits around and watches.

This man is obssessed with youth. All he talks about with everyone is college. When I first talked with him, I told him I was interested in college. I told him what I wanted to do and all that. Which, frankly was a mistake. See he likes to get involved. College seems to be his favorite thing in life with kids. It started with hour long conversations about why college is good. This, being on my phone card mind you. Which was intended for his daughter, who usually I'd get 10 minutes with when he was like that. As he'd force her off the phone.

These conversations would be numerous, time and time again. Until you could tell what he was going to say next by the word. He would then tell me how getting anything less then a 25 on the ACT was horrible, and art was a waste of time. Seriously, my high school graduation after party. I sat in a rented cabin with the guy. He and Julia and her mom were there to watch me graduate. He proceeded to ask me what I wanted to do, and then told me it was a bad idea. He even went further and explained his college days, describing art students as lazy kids in the fields throwing balls around.

Now, at this point I only had a 15 on the ACT. I'm quite frankly, horrible at taking tests. I blank, and do rather poorly on them. But, up until then I was getting praised from school officials. You see, I spent most of my school years in a learning assistance program. I had speech problems as a child, and my early learning suffered due to them. So I was pretty much tutored a little more then the other kids. My average grades were at times a struggle to get. But, I was among the few to get out of that program before I graduated. So it was a really good thing for me.

Now, here I am with a man who would think I was horrible. I knew this, due to all the times he'd talk about test scores and grades. I wouldn't tell him mine. Because well, I didn't want him to know and think badly of me. Since well he controlled my contact with his daughter. If he thought I was a poor student, he could have taken away all communication.

It seriously stressed and worried me. He was always talking about college, and pretty much driving my hopes down. He began to pester and bug me about my ACT score. Just because he wanted to know it. I of course didn't tell him. Since I was always over hearing him talking to his daughter about how anthing below a 3.5 GPA was terrible, and she must get more then 25 on the ACT. I just COULD NOT tell the man I got 10 below his lowest expectations.

So eventually I retook the test. I did my absolute best and got a 19 overall. But still it wasn't good enough and I absolutely refuse to take it again. All the talks the man gave me has burnt me out on the idea completely. But still after my second test he wanted to know what it was. He called my school four times that I know of, asking for my school information. They wouldn't give it to him. He was real secrative about the things too. He called my friends Jacob mother to ask about my plans and everything, over asking me directly. He's even had me think she was supposed to help me get a scholarship. So I gave the school permission for her to get my records from the school. So then, he went and without telling me. Called her, and had her son my friend Jacob bring my records down when he was visiting. Again, not telling me he was going to be able to see my grades. Infact, as I type this. He still has not told me he has any sort of record of mine. This has been several months now.

Him going around my back and prodding around completely made me dispise him. You see, when someone gets past a certain point with me. I can absolutely never look at the person the same way again. If you ever get to the point where I don't like you. I'm not going to forget it. Honestly, the point is very hard to get to... but this man... he's gone over it so many times.

He acts very two faced. He's nice and cheerful in person. But if he walks into another room he's the opposite. I've heard him swearing at his wife over the littlest things. I've heard him call her and Julia fat before. I have so many stories that absolutely infuriate me.

So what I'm trying to get at. Edward Harris has removed every urge of mine to attend college. He's made me feel stupid, his annoying ways have just become a complete association with college for me. Someone mentions the idea of college, I remember Ed. Now, tonight they were talking to me yet again about college. You see, I've been living here over a year now. I had to in order to become a state resident. I needed to work for a year, then I could get finacial aid. Well, now I can. So they've been hammering me to do things I've already done or something else silly. They ask me where I'm going. I tell them the same community college I've been planning on since the beginning. I tell them it every single time they ask. Which at times can be weekly, or more.

But you see they want me to go to a technical university. Which costs many many times more then the community college, and would require me to need two more points in my ACT. The community college does not, is cheaper and would allow me to eventually transfer to the Technical university. It seems to be the more ideal sollution for me. However, if it's not an answer they like. They always ask again until the answer changes to their liking. It's absolutely frustrating.

Ed likes to beat things to death. He'll have conversations over and over again. The littlest things like turning off a humidifer will become into 20 minute long instructions. (If you're wondering all you have to do is turn an on off switch. Which glows and says on off on the top of the machine.) If you can't tell by now the man is well maddening. But, I do all this, I go through all this stress for one thing and one thing only. My girlfriend, I love her and will go through anything for her.

I just well loathe her father. Her mother is fine, but at times can just be as annoying with college and grades. Both her and ed will yell at Julia when she gets less then A's in class. They act like it's worse thing in the world. Then... I think "Wow, that grade would of made me happy!" after seeing it. It just well makes me feel like crap. I don't want to deal with that kind of stress. College which once seemed so appealing has lost it's allure. I'm not going to make money doing the thing I enjoy, the thing I'm good at. I can't do anything good with my average grades. What the hell do I do?

Sure I'm still going to college this fall. Everyone's pretty much forcing me at this point. I'm pretty much going now because it's what is expected of me. Not what I truly want to do. It's sad when you completely burn out on something you haven't done yet. I will just be so estatic when it get's to the point where I don't have to deal with this man. I'll be so glad when I can just be with my girlfriend and not have to interact with him period.

Man why did something like school have to become so difficult?

~DJ Bothwell