I don't really care if anyone reads this.
Last night, I finished a book around midnight and went to my mum's room to tell her about it. We go into this long conversation about Adam and Eve and Jesus. My mum is spiritually cultivated but not in any organized religion and sometimes she rants so much, I get side tracked. But then it turned to my birth and what a scum bag my dad was. My mum told me about how she really didn't want another kid and especially with him because he would always come home high and he was sleeping around. she told about the depression she went through after having me and how she wanted to sufficate me with my baby pillows. ._. But things became better after I was born. My mum said I brought the family closer, I made my mum less harsh and my grandparents closer to my mum. My sister recieved most of the love from me even though she got frustrated because she always had to take care of me. It kinda made me sad.
I miss my dad.
I walked around my good intentions
and found that there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
we hardly talked
I never thought I would forget this hate
then a phone call made me realize
I'm wrong
If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we're all dumb & jaded
and I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
I walked around my room
not thinking
just sinking in this box
I blame myself for being too much
like somebody else
I never thought I would just
bend this way
then a phone call made me realize
I'm wrong
Last night, I finished a book around midnight and went to my mum's room to tell her about it. We go into this long conversation about Adam and Eve and Jesus. My mum is spiritually cultivated but not in any organized religion and sometimes she rants so much, I get side tracked. But then it turned to my birth and what a scum bag my dad was. My mum told me about how she really didn't want another kid and especially with him because he would always come home high and he was sleeping around. she told about the depression she went through after having me and how she wanted to sufficate me with my baby pillows. ._. But things became better after I was born. My mum said I brought the family closer, I made my mum less harsh and my grandparents closer to my mum. My sister recieved most of the love from me even though she got frustrated because she always had to take care of me. It kinda made me sad.
I miss my dad.
I walked around my good intentions
and found that there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
we hardly talked
I never thought I would forget this hate
then a phone call made me realize
I'm wrong
If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we're all dumb & jaded
and I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
I walked around my room
not thinking
just sinking in this box
I blame myself for being too much
like somebody else
I never thought I would just
bend this way
then a phone call made me realize
I'm wrong
