now i know (there's no hope)
you don't even know the pain i feel
when i start to question what is real
i know you're the cause
my lust for you gnaws
its way, through my brain
and i'm here, alone standing
by myself, with tears of understanding
rolling down my cheeks
now i know my bended
heart won't be mended
by your love....
no longer will i cry
or ask for help from up above
i don't blame thee
i blame myself for my insecurities
this time i'm really confused
about what i should do
i have this fear of never being satisfied
i can't find stable happiness,
i've tried and tried
this isn't easy,
i'm the butt of my own joke
i want some affection, this is all i hope
now i know my bended
heart won't be mended
by your love....
no longer will i cry
or ask for help from up above
and i'll live my life until i die
wondering if i'll ever be satisfied
it's not easy being the butt of your own joke
i want some affection, this is all i hope
thought it was love
i thought it was love
it was just bad luck
and i came to the conclusion
my love life really sucks
i'm not sure of my problem
it's gotta be me
maybe i'm too afraid
to face reality
i thought it was love
just my hormones kickin'
i look back at yesterday
oh what was i thinking
my fingers no longer count
the mistakes i have made
tears labeled why
seemed to end my day
and a beautiful girl
enters the room
her caring smile
ends my gloom
i get some affection
no longer am i broken hearted
it seems the cycle was just restarted
will i ever love again
will i ever love again
a question on my mind
will i ever love another
like you in this life
if it was meant to be it'll happen
this is what i am told
but i fear i won't find another
and will die alone
will i ever love again
i really miss you now
will i ever love again
thinking about it just brings me down
i wake up at night
with sweat in my eyes
my heart starts pounding
and i begin to cry
well it's better to have loved
and i still have my memories
they'll always make me happy
and set my heart at ease
the want to be wanted
sometimes i feel i just want to be wanted
like i thirst for the attention
but i don't even know why
then other times
i don't want to be bothered
it's not that i'm depressive
i think i'm a lot of fun
i just have changes of mood
lately things aren't satisfying
food is good, but there's nothing i crave
sex is decent, but it's only with myself
i'm not unhappy, but i don't feel joyous either
and i sit and think about what really makes me smile
usually the insignificant things
a surprise phone call
a piece of candy someone gives me
a good story told by a total stranger
and what do these things reveal
i like to be thought of
i want to be wanted
how does one say "i love you"
sometimes i hate my pessimism
it results in hesitism
and i get caught in a circle
that circulates through my mind
i take a breath and concentrate
make sure my emotions don't instigate
a decision i might regret
or suffer for down the line
why do my words pause with hesitation
is it my overactive imagination
that constant fear of the future
and what will happen to me
i'm uncomfortable having so much emotion
and i don't know where i got that notion
why can't it be more simple
it's my only insecurity
sometimes i feel so inundated
is it really that complicated
of course it isn't
but i've created a monster in my mind
happiness is all that matters
i say nice things not just to flatter you
you know i mean it
you're someone not easy to find
so where do all these thoughts leave me
i'm not sure but in the end i'm happy
happy to be the one
to share these thoughts with you
i hope my doubts don't complicate things
nor go overboard and start to cling
but everything will be fine
because you feel the same way too
I am feeling emo right now so all i can do is write emo < thats me
xxx_Misaru_Hitashi_xxx Community Member 
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Community Member