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today i realized something.im a nobody.i have no purpose in life.deserate for attention i turned to finding friends on the internet who are miles away and have noway of finding me, and seeing my true face.this sinning face i look at everyday in the mirror.im sorry i wasted ur time but im going to stop giong on gaia.monday is the day i have gaia nomore.so i wanted to take the time to tell u the truth.

my name is chanda.
i am not gothic, ok.all i am is lonely.i dont know certain things and i constantly lie.if u were in any of my classes, u would usually see me staring at the blue sky outside.how i wish to be a cloud in the sky.fro when i cry , they cry.the sky feels my emotion and cries with me.


today i was sitting in towns and i saw a couple walking together.they were so happy.while i sat by a tree, being neglected even by the shadows of those.with nowhere to turn, i started to talk to the tree hoping that it would be my friend.but the tree cast its shadow away and continued to sway.
this is not a poem,but one day it will be.finnaly someone came.and only with lies i got them to like me.ifi shown my real self, they would turn and run.im not demonic.im not a kitten.im just a nobody.if u see a person in towns, with the name nobody_lad.tell them of this story, make them change their name.i am the only nobody left.

now this is for chris and chris only:
chris, i know u have lunch with me, but for the next week leave me alone.i need to be alone.need to cast away pointless emotions to find what truely matters.
monday is my last day.if u have any comments on this feel free to reply.
answer my question.wich i write in poetry.


promise
you promised u would be my friend,
through thick and through thin
but in the mist of yesturday
I thought id never win

i asked you a question,
but then i saw you kissin
im desperate to know the answer.
so take ur time and listen.

if i told you i was harmed.
if i told you i was gonna die
would you turn to me and help me.
or leave me there to cry?

if i was always alone
if i left far away
would you miss me all the time
or forget our everyday?

do you think we had happy memories,
or ones to through away.
am i together with you
or alone everyday?

promise me
youll be my friend
and say our friendship
will never bend.