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This made me crack up so hard! XD
Appearance.
To obtain the perfect emo look you will need the following:
Clothing
Child's T-shirt - Usually containing a nostalgic cartoon program from the 70s or 80s. Make sure that you are underweight enough so that you will be able to fit into child's t-shirts. Show your inner despair by looking like you are too sad to eat. Obesity and emocity do NOT mix.
Sweater vest - Stolen from father. If said father doesn't wear sweatervests, then steal one from a dad who does wears them.
Black rimmed glasses - For the 'geek chic' look.
Converse shoes - don't forget to write the name of your significant other on them.
Tiny striped shirt - The best place to purchase striped EMO shirts is at Wal-Mart. Just head into the young boy's section and you can usually find them for about $5. If you're lucky enough to be spoiled, you can just head to the local ritzy mall and hit up the GAP or Banana Republic. Do not admit that you bought those shirts from there, but you will feel higher on the EMO social scale if you have the name brand.
Body Mods
Tattoos of stars - Notably nautical stars. You also need to get some tattoos of cherries, sparrows, and a guitar.
You must have at least one or two lip rings. Express your inner pain by showing that you also have outer pain. Stretch your ear lobes to an ung odly gauge like 00 so you can buy the cool plugs with the nautical stars in them.
Hair
Greasy hair - Try avoid showering for 2 or 3 days.
Dyed black hair - Should be floppy if you are male, teased huge if you are female.
Transportation
Emo kids like to drive something called a "Vespa" which is just an expensive moped with a foreign name. You will not be emo until you buy one.
However, if you're not FORTUNATE enough to buy a vespa, EMO kids usually like to drive Kia's, Hyundai's, or those old school Toyota Corollas .
Accessories
Like emo guys, emo girls should also wear wristbands, especially if they're colored all sorts of happy colors. While it might confuse people as to whether you're a raver, piercing your ears like 2983492 times and wearing babydoll shirts with "Unhappy Chick" written on them will eliminate confusion.
If you're an emo girl and you look good, then you're doing something wrong! Gaining a boatload of weight, or slimming down to the width of a pencil will help you look like you're just not good enough to be happy with a significant other.
You must own 3128912 guitars to give off that "I'm in a band" look. So what if you can't play, you LOOK like you can.
Carry around a poetry book and whenever you see your emo soulmate, read them the poem that you wrote for them.
Here at Sykospark.net we could make a kit and most likely make tons of money by selling this to loser emo kids, but we ask ourselves, do we really want this crap in our house? Besides, since EMO has become the latest SUBKULTURE fashion trend .. being emo is as easy as stealing money from your momz, rolling up into Hot Topic and like WOAH you're emo.
 -Fleeting Infamy- · Tue Oct 31, 2006 @ 03:43am · 0 Comments |
