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DANIEERU'S JOURNAL!
Cleaning out my journal. It's a pain
another part of my writings more added
as i sit in your lap up in the tree i see our faces up there smiling down on us as never before we are closer then we;ve ever been, eskimo kissing each other every night holds us there in time to keep the memories flowing, having your strong and couraging arms around me holds me close to your heart knowing each day brings us closer. looking up at the stars is your remembering of me in your arms each night. i want you to hold me and never let me leave your embrace. i only want you. wanting to stay imprisoned in your arms for all of the eternity of life. dont let me ever leave your side without letting my hand go. turning away is like holding me against a wall crushing my lungs until im gone. comfort coming from you is having you near me and holding your beloved one in your arms. i fall asleep in your lap up there in the tree knowing im safe and wont be touched by anyone disturbing my soul thats with my one. As I walked away from him i could see tears strolling down his cheeks. he sat there holding his knees, I quickened my pace. he was being torn up inside. I wanted to run back. I looked down and him and he looked up, sitting next to him he put his arms around me, i looked at his teary eyes and face knowing he never wants me to leave him I was his teddy bear when he was mad, upset, or frightened like when a child had its comforting from its obeject. He held me like a mother holds her hurt child. I was the child he was holding the comfort he always wants to keep with him. I looked into his teary blue eyes with my own tears falling rocking him in my arms i like i always do keeping our tears falling quietly he spoke dont leave me please you tear my whole spirit and body part when you depart from me. Instincts broken he whispered quietly Dont leave me. no one wants me, i sit alone and let my soul drip away out of my body, no one can grasp it or grab it my soul is gone. they dont care they just let it slip away with me, they dont see me here standing there no one wants me where am i to be in this world please help me want me find my place i have slipped away to nowhere nothing is what they want keeping to myself is a burden hurting i have left the world without anyone noticing i have been gone my time stopped in its tracks keeping me in it without wanting to let me go its comforting keep me here dont let me wake up knowing im not wanted leave me stranded hugging my time in not wanting areas. im running in darkness and screaming just leave me alone
torment comes my way without fail and sees that im hidden alone in darkness
somethings caving in my body what i dont know is that im alone finding myself being eatin by darkness
i scream for help but nothing coming my way is helping
i scream and and scream until i feel the dark hands on my body trying to tear my body to pieces
my screaming goes dead silent and nothing will come to help
i let the hands tear me apart and hopelessy stand there i sit there holding my hands on my head
part of me doesnt know whats going on the other part wants to know
im torn in half the other is nothing to be he pain wont go away i cry wishing i could just vanish
i feel my hands move to my throat and tighten then drop my feelings go towards the ground
its not better not gonna go anywhere just gone. just leave me in my broken mind and soul i want to stay torn into pieces i dont want to be mended or fixed. just keep going and dont keep your heart going just stop dont fix leave it be. you cant fix me dont try to. my mind blank and confused dont touch me dont just please dont. i lie there dead with no feeling going to die want to die. cant be mended nothing will. let me be in my tracks where i am leave me. broken tears falling from my face keep coming in years and days nothing stops the tears from falling hands shaking. she curls up in a ball and stays like that her whole life not wanting to face the real world. my worlds spiraling down into the ground, i see my hands trembling what have i done my life like s**t and nothing but deep darkness. will someone just take my heart out of my body and replace it it with the fears of my life. i made a mistake and that person payed for it. im watching my tears come from my eyes that wept all year. i broke the heart of someone and now its ruined nothing will fix it im hated by this person who wont ever forgive me for my mistake i did he hates me got drunk over me and now look i have ruined my life. its lost nothing will be the same between that person i walk with my head lowered towards a corner wanting to kill myself as i see my hands shake and my tears dripping all over them. once now is a torn down person inside of me that wants to be left alone to isolate herself and pay for what she did. I dont exist i was shut out of this world by people from the real world tears keep falling they run down my face not knowing if she will ever be able to exist here or have a life she keep hidden remaining crying for her lifetime. running in the depths of darkness she waits for her death to come. she looks at her hands seeing her life through them seeking no attetntion from the real world she keeps her tight feelings of wishing she was cut off from the world what is there to live for. cut me out of your life dont bother to look at her she see's her fate in her hands more then she can see it through her heart. her soul unforgiving of those who dont see her forever she spends her time looking at her hands. my wounds need time to heal, i sit in the dark not wanting to face the time. i watch it pass but im here and nowhere to run to. i keep my eyes closed wishing i wasnt here anywhere but on earth. i keep to myself in all the ways i possibly can. i keep my tears to myself. i dont let anyone see my hurting side to me. my wishes turn into flames of distrust of the world. nothing will be the same as i see it. in this darkness i wonder what im gonna become a mute a silenced person who had her voice cut off. this person i see goes no where in her life but her silent darkness. i watch his chest rise and fall as he slips away from my hands, they couldnt do anything for him but i knew he didnt have the striking strengths to hold on. i watch that chest fall for the last time in my life. i sigh with anguish and remorse, not knowing if i will ever see this person i once fell in love with his body was buried somewhere in a realm that doesnt seem to exist. my time remaining has fallen short for me sighing doesnt do me any good. i sit in a corner watching my tears drip to the floor i watched him die i couldnt do anything. i failed to try. leave me in my tracks, dont touch me dont come near me. depression has gotten a hold of many things in life, the days turning to grey as i watch things fade away. the life of one who doesnt even know what to do runs down her path of sorrow and hides for her own safety of being hurt in the life of something that can never be. stuck in a world with nothing more then no one being happy is her hell in life she wont ever be able to find something thats her own. the urge growing in my heart to feel his arms around my whole body aches for them. Knowing that somewhere his arms are around another girl sends jolts of horror to my heart. the deepness of things just sank even lower from where they started out to be. sinking into tears, heart torn to shreads Im Lying in heaps of dead souls crying out for the loved ones. My voice wavering each day as it begins to die away, Wind blowing pushes me to the ground with amount of force to keep me down from my path where i must go. how long can i keep myself alive in the world in time. I long for you comforting arms to hold me close never letting those comfortable thoughts leave my body and soul my heart feels mended. you strengthen my weaknesses when im hurt by the faces of love the moon and the stars will always hold your face up there for me my dreams turned into reality for only one and only. seeping through me is the milky way thats how our love is flowing more through out the outter skirts of space tugging and tugging at me i feel my heart torn into pieces when your gone with the wind never settling is where ware today the wind in the tree tops never settling for just one place in our hearts or minds, minds like a field of memories waiting to tell people about or hidden love/ as she lies motionless with no other feeling of life but love taking over mind and soul and her heart not hearing her own life only love. strong bodies holding her against the wall to hold her back from running to him her tears spilling on their hands as they held her back walking her away from his continious face looking at hers with eyes reading her frightened mind for she felt banned from her own loving life after the strong bodies held her backshe tried crying out but strong bodies silence her for she was taken away from her one true lover her memories cf him clung to her and not a day, year, or month went by that she would always be with him. im going soft, my head isnt gonna last long in this world. what makes me tick is caving. soft hearted she accepts his challeging thoughts on getting her to roleplay. a broken soul soon realizes where its fate will be decided to go in what realm will her soul pay the price? how many times am i going to pay the price of having a lost and broken up soul. where am i to be who is it thats soul is being found and lost as many as others were found lying there dead in heaps of their families tears.




http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=6374593

Post Permanent Link Reki-34 · Mon Oct 30, 2006 @ 02:48am · 0 Comments
Reki-34
Community Member
Reki-34
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